Sequel to Save me from myself.
Bucky and Lilly finally get together after the blip. Still, there are many things they need to go through before they go on with their wedding plans. The Flag Smashers is one of them, but the other is Bucky's insistent...
It finally happens, and Bucky doesn't know what to do or feel when he faces his worst fear. Or should he admit 'fears'?
TW: murder, blood, fight.
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As expected, Zemo managed to escape amidst the fighting, and with nothing else to do, they decided to leave the apartment. On their way out, Sam stopped Bucky when he noticed that Lilly stayed behind. Giving the other man a hard stare, Sam closed the door behind him when he left, leaving the two alone.
The silence in the air was far from what Bucky thought it would be. There was no tension in it, only anticipation. A fragile line that was about to be crossed. One that Bucky didn't know if he wanted to. If he was ready to.
He watched as Lilly opened the cabinet and took a cup from it, filling it with water. Keeping her eyes away from him. He walked up to her and pulled on the hem of her t-shirt to be closer to him. Without a word, she let herself be guided to his arms. He rested his chin on her shoulder and gave her jaw a lingering kiss. He pulled her free hand up and kissed her wrist, making circles on her palm.
"I never wanted to hurt you. I never want to hurt you. I know that what I did wasn't what you wanted, but I had my reasons." His arms squeezed her. He took a deep breath and rested his cheek on her shoulder. "I just... don't know." There was grief in his voice. An apologetic tone lacing his words.
"You don't know." It wasn't a question, and it hit Bucky like a rock.
"It's hard to explain. Please, Lilly, bear with me-"
"Bear with you?" She turned in his arms to face him. "Bear with you? Do you have any idea what it is like to see you doing this?" She looked around and took a step back, making Bucky try to get her back into his arms, but she refused his contact. "To watch as you sell yourself short. Tell me that you want me, love me, but push me away the moment you need me."
"I'm not pushing you away."
"Yes, you are." She ran her fingers over her hair, tucking the strands behind her ears and whispering again, "Yes, you are."
"What do you want me to do? Tell me, and I will do it." He took a step in her direction but decided to give her some space in the end.
"I thought I already had." She walked around the counter, and he watched as she put distance from him. "I want you to want me. I want you to include me."
"I do. I do, Lilly."
"You don't even see what you're doing." Her unamused chuckle made him flinch. "You repeatedly ignore me. Don't listen to me at all. You don't think before you act and don't care about the consequences. All you want is the shield."
"No." Bucky's voice firm. There was no doubt in his mind.
"And here you are again. Lying. To me, to you, to everyone." She crossed her arms over her chest, and Bucky wanted to hug her.
