Love.

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Summary:

Lilly has to make a decision that will impact not only her life but Bucky's as well. She hopes their chance to be together won't be ruined.
In the meantime, Bucky still has to decide how he will face a future where his past is always lurking around every corner of his mind. Plaguing his nightmares with fears and ifs that dwell in his soul even when she is near. Especially when she is near.

Notes:

Thank you for going on this journey with me! Let's see what the future has in its store for them.

I'll wait for season 2 or thunderbolts to be released, meaning it will take a while, and I hope to see you guys there. Thank you again!

Morning flew by, and soon Sam and Bucky trained together not far from the house

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Morning flew by, and soon Sam and Bucky trained together not far from the house. The shield seared through the air and hit the targets, returning to their hands.

Bucky watched as Lilly quietly approached them. Sitting nearby and waving at him.

His heart swelled with pride and worry. Pride to have her in his life and worry that it might have been too late. That he might have lost her forever.

"I owe you an apology." He lowered his eyes. The shield in his hands suddenly too heavy.

Raising a brow and trying to guess what Bucky was apologizing for, Sam broke the silence. "Why? What did you do now?" His soft chuckle at the end showed Bucky that there were no hard feelings on his part.

"I didn't..." Bucky sighed. He tried to get his emotions in check. "I didn't understand what the shield meant for you. For all black men." He finally got the courage to look at Sam.

"Thank you."

"This shield means so much to me. The only thing linking me to the past. To Steve." He looked down at it, shining against the sun. "When you refused it," he gingerly gave it back to Sam, "and John got his hands on it. I felt I had nothing left. Like I was alone." His metal hand reached for his back pocket. "Steve's book. I have it. I figured if it worked for him, it might work for me as well."

"I understand, Bucky. But Steve is gone, and you must stop looking to other people to tell you who you are." When Bucky looked hurt, he went on. "You still have nightmares?"

With a sad smile on his face, Bucky nodded. "If I remember, it means it's still a part of me. And if it's a part of me, I can hurt her. I could never live if I hurt her. After the fight... Seeing her with a broken arm... She means everything, Sam. Everything."

"Are you even listening to yourself right now? First, you tell me that you felt alone, and now that she," Sam looked over his shoulder at Lilly, "That she means everything to you."

"I know it sounds weird, but the shield and Steve. They are part of my past, of who I was. I can't lose that." Bucky squeezed the book in his hands. "I just... If I lose that, then there's only the Winter Soldier left."

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