• Lucky Me, I See Ghosts •

The Only Secret

Very soon he had woken up, on the couch, it was three A.M. she was gone.

Was it a dream? No, he had all the cuts, hickeys, bite marks, his head hurt and pulsated. He knew was drugged. He can remember more as he sat in the room.

The silence was a lot. He got ready for class early and went outside. It was snowing, it was surreal, very pretty. It distracted him from his life, from what happened, from everything his mind had gone.

the cold felt warm. his head pulsated with the rest of his body he felt nauseous and numb, but the snow made him feel comfortable.

He thought it was crazy how his life changed in less than three days. He wanted to go back in time.

Lucky didn't know if school was cancelled or not. He walked out into the cold. Turning corners and all the way to the high school. As soon as he got there it was four-thirty.

The school doors weren't open yet. He wasn't completely sure if school was cancelled or not.

The snow almost covered the ground and it was still snowing as he walked.

The diner wasn't far from the school so he decided to walk there. He opens the door the bell rang and he sat at the stool resting his arms on the counter. His cuts on his wrist and the one the prostitute made were covered up with a coat and long sleeved shirt.

They burned as they rested against the counter. He made it look natural before Lori came in,"Oh, Noah you're up early. Why are you here, darling?"

"Oh, I wasn't sure if school was cancelled or not, cause the snow." He looked at her.

Lori leaned her arms on the counter, "Are your parents phone broken? they should get a call if it was cancelled."

"Their not home." Lori stepped back, pulled out a stool, and sat across from the counter.

"Well I'm pretty sure, it's going to snow all day, imma assume it's cancelled."

She turned around and made coffee for him,"Have you eaten? You look skinny."

"Oh, well I-" he paused. He wasn't the type to stutter or pause, but he didn't want to tell her he didn't eat, or even feel like eating.

Its like he completely changed this week. He was scared of throwing up constantly, his sudden nausea he felt at times made him vomit and that would remind him of her.

"You alright, honey?"

"Oh, yeah,- it-its, uh, um, school work... Just made me very busy." He faked a smile.

Her expression made it seem like she was surprised that he didn't eat or even sleep, so busy in studying. Hard to believe, but he made the impression of being a nerd, with all A's and homework excuses.

She made him French toast, expecting him to eat. He stared at it like he would die, to him he was a ticking time bomb.

He took a bite. His head hurt bad and he was nauseous, but after eating something he quickly felt a bit better.

Though something was still missing deep in his chest, like he knew what. He felt to see his own blood. He craved it. He thought it might be sweet after eating sugar.

He took off his heavy coat and sat it on the stool next to him. Lori was in the kitchen cleaning up. He looked and the back of his hand. He noticed his cuts he made were red.

Not bleeding, but red. He scratched it hard peeling his skin, the blood under his nails, showed. He watch as it dripped on the counter. He looked up over the door the the kitchen. He panicked and took a lot of napkins putting them on his wrist wiping the counter.

"Noah", she walked in the room, "if you don't have anything at home come here, alright. I'll treat you like my kid."

The sentence meant a lot to her, she was never able to have a child.

He hid his cuts under the counter. "You'd be a good mom." She laughs.

A couple minutes go by, he puts on his coat, and leaves. At his house the cabinets are practically empty, the fridge had moldy celery in the back of it.

He needed to go shopping, obviously. He only had so much money to spend, opening a jar with rolled up twenties.

He took two out, forty dollars would be enough to buy what he needed. He gets his goat on and puts a list he made in his pocket. The cat meows at him,"Aw, Sweetie, are you hungry?"

he looks they were out of cat food as well. He quickly wrote it on the list, and went to the store.

It was the Christmas time of year and only a couple weeks till it's Christmas Eve, that means everyone was at the store. It was very crowded, he made it in the store and got a cart.

He get got everything and before checking out he calculated the price, it was four dollars over, plus tax. He had got to get rid of something. He had chosen an expensive cat food, and thought what else he had to get rid of.

Everything, to the type of bread to vegan eggs, things that decrease the price by a cent.

That brought the price down a lot. Walking to the self checkout, he saw a lot of kids screaming and acting out. The thought of himself screaming like a kid in Walmart, just many differences in the way he scramed and how a little kid did.

The kid was up set for not getting something they wanted, Lucky screamed because he needed something.

He couldn't help but feel as if it was his fault, like he couldn't stop it from happening, he shouldn't have let it happen.

There was a line in the self checkout. He waited, till it was finally his turn to checkout. He wanted to hurry so other people would have time to checkout too.

He paid and got out of there. They just had to check his receipt.

Walking in the parking lot of the Walmart he saw a familiar person.

It was his friend, he was with his mom early to get gifs. Lucky was more of a clean and organized person and was very great at respecting others, but he looked different, giving off a completely different person.

His hair was messy and he looked dirty, and he smelt of cigarette smoke. "Hey, James, isn't that your friend, Noah?"

"Oh, yeah. Hey Noah!" Lucky turned and saw his friend, James.

They were friends sense first grade, James knew Lucky so well, it was obvious that James was confused of why Lucky was so, different. "Oh, hey, James."

"Hey, um, you look a bit different, are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah, it- it's flu season- ya, know. Just a- cold." He stuttered, it was like he was completely different, his personality changed.

"Okay, well I have to get my little sister a gift, I kind of dropped her other one wrapping it."

"Okay, see you later."

"Yeah, man!" They walked off.

Lucky felt weird, talking to someone he knew so well, they shared almost everything, their secrets, their lunch, they had countless sleep overs when they were younger, and now Lucky is keeping the biggest secret ever.

Just one secret. The complete reason for his source of depression and everything he feels and does.

He didn't want his friend to get involved with her. He didn't want him to understand. He didn't want anyone to understand.