-TO FORGET A LOVE-

Were we meant to start like this?

I took your hand in mine. A smile pressing through my lips. You. There you stood, in all of your glory. The sun is your bystander love. You shine for the whole world. You even shone for me darling.

Waking up was agonizing. Dreams of the previous night flitting through my head. Deeply inhaling, I flung the covers off of me, and sat up. Sighing, I blinked slowly. My legs felt like concrete cylinders, and my arms were heavier than thay outta be.

Looking around the room I had just moved into was almost terrifying. The boxes stacked in corners, the table placed haphazardly in the centerish of the room.

The light and noise of the newly awoken apartment building filtered through the dangerously old curtains, bringing some semblance of liveliness to this dreaded room.

I painfully got to my feet, the bed squeaking under my shifting weight. Stumbling onto my legs, I fell forward. Attempting to catch myself, my hands darted in front of me, only to unsuccessfully scrape against the side of the coffee table, cutting open my palm.

Hissing at the pain, and now on my ass, I looked at my hand. An almost unbelievable amount of blood dripped down my palm and pattered onto my legs. My hands shook. Something was off. My body didn't feel like it should. I attempted to fling myself up, only to land on my far too weighted knees.

Heart racing, I picked my hand up from off the floor. It was my right one that got cut open.

The screams echoed through my mind. Was this guilt? Was this a way for me to repent of my sins?

Was this you god?

Are you trying to punish me again?

Pushing myself to my feet, I breathed hurriedly and started towards the bathroom of this small apartment I had to call my own for the next couple months.

Turning on the faucet, water rushed out of the tap. Cold and harsh on my hand. Sighing, I heard more noises from the world. The world I wished to be a part of so bad.

My mind wandered as the babbling of the water continued, memories and hopes circling through my head dually.

Again it popped into my head.

His face looked cold, how I yearned to make that change. That stoicism did not suit your face love. His dark hair framing his face quite nicely, his eyes a wild green that glared blankly at the ground. Walking through the crowd. I sat watching from the opposite side of the street, my feet tapping on the ground, making small sounds. It was early in the day then, and it was a normal tuesday, he had just got out of the library, and was walking to his afternoon class. It must be hard. College I mean. All that work and hope for the future.

I wordlessly got up from the seat I had been sitting in, and trudged the same way the boy was going. Dark and slightly dyed hair fell into my vision. I needed to re-color it soon.

At this time I was a simple "girl". My hair brushed and long, a beanie covering it. Light makeup coating my pale skin. My attire was simple, sweater and jeans, always neutral colors.

It was the beginning of fall, and the windy city was an easy place to find people and prey alike. Taking step after step, the wind seemed to push me in the direction of the boy.

His name didn't matter. It never did. I knew it for reasons I knew nothing of. And it ran through my head again and again. Constantly.

He was my new obsession, another thing to fantasize about when those nights got lonely. Another one to hurt. Another one to save from this god awful world. Another one to claim.

He had made it to his destination, the college I had seen dozens of times before. I waited there. The same time as always, he walked out. The moon was peeking out through the curtain of clouds, sending beams of light onto the sidewalk, lighting my path to freedom. To him.