𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞, 𝐲. 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐰𝐨𝐧

members' public goodbyes.

ʚ♡ɞ

❝ hi, yang. it's jay hyung.

i can't believe i'm writing this right now, i was so convinced every letter i'd write to you for the next eighty years would be to say happy birthday, but obviously the universe had a different ending for our adventure together.

when we first met a few years ago, after your transfer as a trainee under BigHit, i never imagined the impact you'd have on my life. not only were you like my younger brother, you so easily became a part of my soul that'll never be filled again.

life without you has been hard already, and i can't imagine how i'll feel as time goes on.. but for you, i'll try my hardest to stay strong and keep going.

i'll miss taking you out on dates and hearing your sweet voice, the boys have the house a mess already.
i miss you, jungwon.. show up in a dream soon, okay? i love you, forever and a little more. ❞

❝  i used to hate this picture of us,
but i've made it my lockscreen now..

a lot has changed since you left this world, jungwon-ie. the atmosphere that surrounds us seems to glow a lot darker, and my days make no sense. going to work and resuming our normal days feels so.. wrong.
wrong because you're not behind us reminding us to drink water and bundle up since it's getting colder outside.

this all still feels like a nightmare, if i'm being honest. maybe you've painted the skies a pretty picture every day since your passing to make it a little easier for us, but i'd rather have a year-long thunderstorm if it meant i'd get to see you one last time.

my heart hurts, my life feels empty without you here, yang.. we miss you so much, six is too little of a number. ❞

❝  i can't tell you how many times i've cried, but i'm sure you've been beside me during each one. my mind runs blank when i try and think of things to say to you, man. my world is empty now.
i miss you, leader. ❞

❝  i smile through the pain because you always reminded me how good i looked happy.

so much has happened and i don't know who to run to tell it to now, are you still listening? you are, right? you would think give up on hyung so easily, right?

i hope the afterlife is comfortable and soft like your favorite blanket still is, wonie. i love you. ❞

❝  it's still hard to process.
i'll find the words to send to you eventually, won.
for now, thank you for loving me and caring for me despite being younger.
you're no longer in pain, so i can rest a little easier. ❞

❝  i'll be older now.. haha.
thank you for being my hyung, hyung.

my mind is blank.. i don't know how to process this. usually you'd be the one to help me since the others can't..

i love you. ❞

ʚ♡ɞ
+ special chapter one..