To Thaw a Lost Heart

Doubts on Oneself

Note: Due to holidays, next two chapters wouldn't be on the weekends and/or might be delayed.

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A familiar scene right before her eyes.

Just like the visions where the ghostly copy tends to drag Tirpitz, she stands on a field snow. There's no blizzard to hinder her vision or ruin the scenery, just the gently falling snow. It's a peaceful scenery of snowy land, yet it's formed unnaturally.

"Why am I....here again?"

Meters in front of Tirpitz is a vision of the META she only believes as either an illusion or a ghost. Tirpitz META touches her face before almost pulling the hair on her scalp. Unlike the bitter and revenge driven ghost, that version of Tirpitz META is in a state of panic and shock that her voice is shaking and her breathing is visibly unsteady.

"I died. I know I died because I felt my life slip away....."

The META continues to mutter with a shaking voice as her numbed legs are forced on the ground.

"I....I was in a dark place......then something ripped me....." Tirpitz META tightly closes her eyes
"Calm down, Tirpitz"

Another person is present. Victorious META bends on one knee and grabs both of Tirpitz's META's shoulders.

"Your voice....called me......" Tirpitz META weakly grunts
"Back then, I didn't want you to die....no matter what"
"Why couldn't you let me die on my own terms?"

Tirpitz META's anger couldn't be denied, but she lacks the intent to vent it out to Victorious. A part of her remains in control and perhaps.....alive.

"You tried to defy what's natural....and denied me an afterlife" Tirpitz grabs both of Victorious META's shoulders
"I just....I just don't want you to die......" Victorious META bites her lower lip
"You disrespected death and my wish. How much more do you want me to suffer?"
"No, no, no, it's not that. It wasn't....."

No words would comfort Tirpitz META who's on the brink of clawing her own skin if it isn't for Victorious META tightly embracing her. She sees how the traumatized META is already digging her fingers on her cheek and neck.

"Did this happen?" The normal Tirpitz shifts her eyes to the left
"This was how I came to be - a dead battleship who should have remained dead"

The ghostly Tirpitz META takes a couple of steps forward and stands on Tirpitz's left side. They may be the same person, but the difference between their tone and appearance are clear.

"I died, but I was horrified when I realized how I was dragged back into this hellish war. What's worse was how my own friend betrayed my wish to rest. Both she and Bismarck defiled my life" Tirpitz META blankly stares at the scene
"......" Tirpitz could mostly relate
"I suppose it's a curse for both of us to end this way"
"We're not allowed to die.....but you already died this time" Tirpitz also stares at the scene as well
"I was dragged into darkness again, but when I came to be....I was still conscious without a body. Instead, I woke up in your body. That inexplicable pain overwhelmed my senses....and I nearly killed your Bismarck a year ago"
"So the reason I couldn't remember attacking Bismarck is because you possessed me"

As strange as it sounds, Tirpitz somehow has little doubt about it and is barely unfazed at the realization. Namely, she's way past the incident from a year ago.

"Something woke me up back then. I should have remained dormant, but I think a piece of me resonated with the piece inside you" Tirpitz META lightly pokes Tirpitz's chest
"Piece?"
"My wisdom cube is shattered. Since I'm still conscious, my other pieces are still active and possess my power. I don't need to guess who has it" Tirpitz META scoffs
"You hated Victorious for what she did, but the one I know isn't the same as yours"
"Victorious holds us dearly and it's for that reason she will betray you. Love for another leads anyone to a hellish path" Tirpitz META gazes at the snowy sky
"........"
That's what makes it.....the worst curse of them all"