To Thaw a Lost Heart

Past Perspective

How long has it been.....?

As far as I can remember, it has always been battle after battles. Everyone, even Bismarck and Victorious, pushes me to keep on fighting. I desperately want to tell them I'm exhausted and I could no longer keep on going, but I couldn't find the courage to say it, especially to Victorious. I want to - I truly want to confess my constant exhaustion, but I promised my friend. Yes, I agreed to a promise I wouldn't fulfill.....so I'd die a liar in front of her.

Forgive me......but you have to let go......

On the day I move forward toward where I would meet my end. It's this dread hanging over me that made it clear I wouldn't live any longer. Victorious, she never realized, let alone suspected that I lost my will to live

Finally.....

I remember the sensation of an Arbiter's projectile piercing through my chest. The heat burns through my body and the damage I sustained is far too much for my wisdom cube to handle. Even if I couldn't see myself, a sigh of relief and a content smile escapes from my lips. Throughout this conflict, I've been pushing myself to the limit to ensure my survival and my comrades' survival.

No, that's not true.....

For so long, I've been seeking permanent rest because the metamorphosis rendered me more durable than ever. The ice I cursed so much became my power as if the world played a cruel joke on my history. I never stopped fighting believing it was my sole wish and source of joy, but I'm wrong in the end. All these non-stop battles have taken a toll on me and drained my will and resolve midway.

In the end, I.....

I don't know if it's these countless battles or the effects of the metamorphosis, but I've gotten mentally and emotionally weak right before I knew it. My mind crumbled from abusing my own body and power until I could barely feel every wound I sustained. When my body finally feels warm and light, I don't struggle the least. I just let this lightness take my senses and me away.

Why.....why.....why......?

When everything goes dark, I feel everything leaving me. My body has gone completely numb and motionless the moment I closed my eyes. This is what I wanted, so I didn't struggle or resist even if I heard Victorious screaming at me and calling me repeatedly. I thought that was the end of "me", but after some time, air fills my lungs, and my body is shocked into waking up.

Why.....why.....why?!

All of my senses returned to my body, and I regained some of my strength, at least enough to turn my head and move my hands. My body is lying on solid ground instead of sinking to the bottom of the ocean.

..........!

The horrifying realization finally strikes my mind. My wisdom cube has been fully restored and reactivated, so both my mind and body have been brought back.

"Tirpitz....." Victorious sheds tears of joy
"Why.....why would you do this?!"

I covered my face with both of my hands and grit my teeth before this chaotic emotion exploded. My mind couldn't think straight because I could only see red, and my instincts screamed at violence. I'm furious beyond reason because they toyed with my life against my will.

"Why did you bring me back?!"

When I fully regained my consciousness, I shouted at Victorious and a swing of my arm unleashed a field of ice and snow around us.

"I-I......you died.....so I did everything to save you......" Victorious backs away

It's as if my reaction is unexpected that Victorious stutters and she's confused at the response she dislikes. The joy she had earlier completely vanishes and all that remains is the fear and dismay mixed in her eyes.