They're Not Like Us

Chapter 15 Home From The Mall

Terri, Annette, and Marcy are walking into the house from Terri's garage. They're coming in after a day at the mall and from the number of their packages, it's obvious they had a great time.

Talking to Marcy Terri said, "Did you decide which one of the two Jackets you are going to keep?"

"Yeah, I'm going to keep them both. The solid one is so versatile; it will go with anything. On the other hand, the one with the print will look good all by itself."

A smiling Terri said, "That's my girl. That is what I would have done.

The ladies are walking into the family room and still carrying on their conversation. The day of shopping may be over, but the day of sports appreciation is in the middle of phase two. Ted is seated at one end of the sofa and Marcus is seated at the other end. Richard has a chair on the corner. On the coffee table between them are chips, dipping sauces, sausages, and not a vegetable in sight.

The primary focus of the three men is on the wall facing them. It's a large-screen TV. The reason that it is important is college football. Today Marcus's favorite Texas A&M is playing Ted's favorite Texas Tech.

If Richard would do the right thing and switch his allegiance to a Texas college, he would be allowed to participate in college football discussions or arguments. Since he refused to denounce Penn State, he can't be a real college football fan.

Ted shouts, "Hey Baby Girl did you blow your whole monthly allowance in one outing?

Walking toward her father, Marcy said, "No Dad I didn't, but I did buy some things that I have been wanting for a long time."

Talking to the men, Annette said, "How has your guy day, of uninterrupted college football been going?"

Richard spoke up, "The first game went very well. Penn State played Boston College. My unrefined and unsophisticated friends here, both dozed off before half time. They didn't wake up until the second game was starting. They came to life when Zorro rode across the screen on a horse."

Marcy asked, "Who is Zorro?"

Her father said, "He was before your time. He was before all of our time. Don't pay any attention to your uncle Richard. He is a Pennsylvania kid, trying to make fun of the tradition of The Texas Tech Masked Rider. Hey, you have your phone, look it up. Go to the internet images site."

Pulling out her phone Marcy said, ""Oh, Dad everything is not a learning opportunity."

Terri, an alumnus of Texas Tech left the kitchen to join in the dispute, "Is Richard speaking against Texas Tech tradition while at the same time supporting Penn State which has not changed its style of uniforms in a hundred years? Anyone who would wear the same outfit for a hundred years is just shouting out a lack of good taste."

Marcus turned to Richard and said, "I have to agree with Terri. It's been a century, show some class, make those changes."

All of a sudden Marcy looking at her phone burst out in laughter. She ran over to Richard and gave him a high five. Then she said, "Zorro, Uncle Richard, I see what you mean, that was a good one."

With pride and laughing, Richard said, "Since you guys are not willing to discuss meaningful attributes of east coast football, I guess it is up to me to change the subject. Did you ladies enjoy yourselves shopping today?"

Marcus spoke up, "I'm going to step out on a limb and say, they had a great day, but only accomplished half of what they wanted to do, they will be needing to go back sooner than they would like.

Annette said, "How did you know that is exactly what happened? We were saying that very thing as we were getting out of the car."

Terri said, "That was just a lucky guess on his part. If he was that knowledgeable about what women are thinking, he could find one woman worth keeping for the rest of his life and abandon his desire for having several."

Marcus shook his head and gave a slight laugh, then he looked at his phone for the time. He said, "As I am taking credit for always knowing how women think. I better run; Rose is performing at the House of Music tonight. I told her I would be there, so I better be on time."

Annette looked at Terri and asked, "Who is Rose?"

Terri answered, "The current lady of the day or maybe of the hour."

As Marcus was getting up to go, Richard said, "A singer? Marcus, you should remember what Homer said about women with beautiful voices."

Richard is walking him to the door. Marcus gave a fist bump to Ted, then waves goodbye to Terri, Annette, and Marcy, while he is still talking to Richard."

He said, "Other than the ones he made up, did Homer know any women? You see, he only felt that way because he had not seen this woman."

Richard said, "Hell, Homer was blind as a bat, he couldn't see any woman. He would know more about a woman's voice than you."

After they had both walked out of the room laughing, Terri looked at Annette.

With a slight laugh, she said, "Why don't they speak English? What the hell was that all about?"

Annette shook her head. Ted threw up the palms of his hands as if to say he didn't know. Then Marcy laughed out loud. Terri and both of her parents looked at her.

Marcy said, "Its Greek mythology. In the Odyssey, Homer wrote about Ulysses and his sailors being afraid of the beautiful voices of women calling them to jump into the sea."

All three of them were laughing when, Terri said, "Why don't they just find them a mine-numbing sitcom like the rest of us? After Marcy leaves for college who will we be able to find to translate the crap that they say? With that, the laughter started all over again.