HER

The happiness

So that night me and char got the 3 girls out of my bed and layed down and that was the first time i cuddled with someone and felt safe and new she cared but it wasn't just the cuddling it was really when she kissed my head and said '' finally your in my arms''

Now i don't know much about a good relationship and it's not because i didn't want one but it's more because i either i wasn't allowed to be with someone or the other one's treated me bad and i can't say it was never my fault but honestly i knew what was right and what was wrong, in a relationship but this time i just wanted a good one and i wanted her to know i love her and want her in my life. See a relationship is not just giving someone affection and caring for someone and you may think i'm wrong but it does include but it more than that. now being with someone is a little hard but it because you both have to know how each other feel and you have to work with each with any problems and remember a relationship is only hard when one person is working on it.

Anyway when char was only with me for two weeks and that whole time we spent getting to know each other and it was fun honestly i'm happy with her, she is my other half and we have been together for a year and 3 months and we will be together for many more. 

Christmas was gonna be coming soon and i wanted to see char again, but i didn't know if i could or not and honestly i was scared to ask her if she wanted to only because i know christmas is a family holiday. Char had me in a choke hold, But this one was a hard one. she made me feel things i wasn't sure if i wanted to feel.But not in a bad way.

Finally me and char talked about the next time she will be back and me and her agreed to have her come back for christmas and i was so damn happy because i didnt know if she wanted to come back at all. Char was different from me and no not in a bad way, she was sweet and understanding and she was more on the wild side and me i was a depressed and scared person because i was scared of being alone and the worst part was i didnt know if this was gonna work or not, but something told me to relax and give it a chance or i will regret it but there was also a small part of me saying ''kristy dont let anyone in because they will hurt you like the last one'' , but i knew i couldnt let her slip away when i could help her and have her in my arms.

once char left i was torn and yes i did cry..... a lot, but mostly because i got use to her sleeping next to me and being around her, but i knew if she loved me that she would not just leave me.