Time is a God and We Cannot See Her Face

PART 2

"The K-3 indicator registers the level of pain," Bones explained to Jim ten minutes later after they'd gotten Spock restrained and administered some additional sedatives. "Now watch this bar here as I turn it on."

Jim glared at the indicator arrow as it shot up like a rocket into the red HIGH zone, and stayed there.

"Now that's what he's been going through," Bones was saying. "I've never seen anything like it. No wonder the poor devil has gone mad."

Spock's eyes flitted open and his breathing calmed slightly when he realized who was standing over him.

"Dr. McCoy. Captain."

Jim clasped his hands behind his back, squeezing until his fingers hurt. "Spock," he greeted him calmly.

"These restraints... will no longer be necessary," Spock rasped, refusing to look Bones in the eyes. "Nor will your sedatives, doctor. I'll be able to return to duty. I apologize for my weakness earlier... when I tried to take control of the ship. I simply... did not understand."

The Vulcan had enough mettle in his bones to exude pride, even under such painful pressure, the Captain observed with some measure of affection.

"What is there to understand, Mr. Spock?" Bones queried.

"I am a Vulcan, doctor. Pain is a thing of the mind." He sucked in a pained breath. "The mind can be controlled."

"But you are only half-Vulcan," Jim insisted, more sharply than he intended, especially since his heart was breaking for Spock. All he wanted right now was to reach out and touch him or do something to ease the pain, as Spock had done a dozen times over for him. "What about the human half?"

Spock grunted again as he fought for control.
"It... is proving to be an inconvenience," he retorted with an indignant raise of the eyebrows.

Jim sighed as a sad smirk tugged at his mouth. Spock was a courageous soul, for a number of reasons, and it was in situations like this that Jim was forced to be utterly in awe of him.

"But," Spock added. "It is manageable. The creature, with all of its thousands of parts, even now... is pressuring me." His eyes, wild as a frightened pony's, locked with Jim's for a split second. "It wants this ship. But I am resisting."

Jim wasn't convinced. Spock made a mistake, letting him witness his eyes looking like that. "Can he control it the way he says, Bones?" he asked quietly.

"Who knows. I know the amount of pain the creature can inflict upon him. But whether he can control it hour to hour..."

Of course, Spock could still hear them. "I have my own will, Captain. Let me help."

"We need you, Spock." Jim swallowed hard. "I need you."

Spock twitched again at that statement. Jim kicked himself internally; somehow, he seemed to just be making things worse.

"But we can't take any chances," he continued, putting all his energy into keeping his voice steady. "We'll keep you confined for a while longer."

Spock arched his back slightly, face twisted in agony as he bit back a cry.

"If you can... maintain control, then..."
Jim couldn't do this. Seeing Spock in so much pain, unable to do anything for him, was a torture in itself. "...Then we'll see." He turned and started to head out, only to be stopped by one of Spock's cries breaking through the quiet med bay. Jim spun on his heel and stared wide-eyed at his friend in the bed, hot tears threatening to blur his vision again. Bones stepped up and laid a hand on Jim's shoulder.