A dream far away with Living Memories

Chapter 13

Everyone started coming out of their rooms to the dining hall except Nandu. Soon, she too came and noticed that all others were sitting in the dining room and talking except Manik, Cabir, Abhi, her di and Jiju. When asked about them, she was directed to Kitchen. They all were still in the kitchen. Jeevika was working whereas Abhi and Manik were sitting over the kitchen cabinet next to Jeevika. Cabir and Viren were leaning over the wall. All were talking & laughing. Mostly it was Cabir who was doing the talking part and he was animatedly explaining all the crazy stuffs he did for all these days in states.
She went it and stood awkwardly.
Viren (looking at her standing in hesitation) - Doll, what happened?
Nandu - One min Jeju. (Turned to Cabir) Cabir bhai.
Cabir - Haan Nandu, what happened.
Nandu- Cabir bhai, can u come and stand next to him, showing Abhi.
Cabir nodded his head and came towards Abhi and stood between Manik and Abhi, keeping his hands on either of their thighs.
Cabir - bol bhai ki jaan, what is it?
Nandu - Bhai , nothing much, our daily routine
They thought for a minute and got what she was saying
Abhi - Nandu, why don't we talk about that afterwards?
Nandu - No bhaiyu, it's Okay, it's just us, haina manik?
Manik just nodded his head, whereas Jeevika and Viren stood confused of what is happening around
Jeevika -Manik , what is happening here? Nandu, any problem
Nandu - No di, nothing serious. (Turned to Cabir/Abhi) Can we start?
cabir/Abhi (Still in hesitation) - Okay
Nandu closed her eyes and took a deep breath
And she gave the diary to Cabir . the same one which manik wrote on the day before.
Both Cabir and Abhi started looking at the diary whereas manik's eyes was n Nandini only. She started reciting what she wrote in the diary.
Nandu - so , as manik said yesterday, Accept the fate and Move on and appreciate the ones which you have now ..ummm, i thought a lot about it, i accept that it was a very long time before, but still the cravings i had for my parents always made me feel a little low, i don't say that Di and Jiju didn't take care of me , they were much more than my parents for me. No one else in the world can give me the love, warmth and happiness which they showered me not in my whole life, but they gave me all this to me in just this 20 years. I made up my mind that my parents were dead in some accident or the other situation. But when i heard that they were killed mercilessly just for the property that too by my own chacha, made me feel more vulnerable.
No matter what, i ' m not going to forget what has happened to my parents long before. I feel sad because I don't have any memories about them with me to cherish longer. This space in my heart that i left for my parents was in void till now, but when i thought about all these things ,what manik said yesterday, i came to know that the void space i had for my parents was unknowingly filled by di, jiju, manu and u all without even my knowledge. that when i looked into it, it keeps enlarging each and every minute clearing and filling it all with ur love.
I have always felt bad when those guys in school and college teased and harassed us for being an orphan, but when i turn back to our past, i only see that i ' m not at all an orphan as i have such a big caring family, that no one has ever had, and i really feel happy about that. My di was not only a di for me , she has always been my mother more than a sister, as far as i can remember she is the one who has always taken the mother's role and she has also fitted into the character better than anyone else, she became my mother, a caretaker and a good soul before being my elder sister. and my jiju, though he wasn't related to me through blood, he has always been a fatherly figure to me, as i call him, he really is my hero, who had always been there for me whenever i need a support, he has always pampered me whenever i had been cranky and got me everything even before i ask him for that.
And manik what can i say about him, he was an all rounder for me, even when i was not his responsibility, he stood by me every time when i face trouble, let it be those silly school fights or the serious trauma i had in this year before, he not even considered his studies / career important, instead he left everthing and flew away to the other side of the world just to bring this little smile on my face, he has always been my superman.
If you look back at every steps i took last few years, it has always been accompanied by his footsteps beside mine, he had always kept the promise that he made me when we were child that he will keep me safe and happy always, he never ever made me cry knowingly or unknowingly, i know, he feels sad on what happened, but let me tell u manik, you are not the reason behind the trauma i faced, but you are the reason behind the smile that i have now.
He took all my broken pieces and glued it together. Manik, if you were not there , No one will be able to see me in one piece. No one i repeat, no one would have stayed beside me when i was all in distress and shut down everyone away from my world. But you, You still stood by me, even after all those hurtful words, beatings and all the accusations i did. You stood there accepting everything without any questions.
All those days, when all i did was just throwing all those things that was there in the room, you didn't flinch or you didnt run out of the room. Instead you just stood in the same place with those open arms and cuddled me to sleep. You helped me in getting healed both physically and mentally, even when i was hurting you physically. And i don't know what i can do for you, all i can do back is just live this life that you saved without any regrets.
And last but not the least, you both, Cabir bhai and Abhi bhaiyu, my ever so caring and protective brothers, i don't know whether i can get the same love and care even if i had a real brothers, u too have always been a support for both me and manik , in all the tougher times, not just Manik, even u both have sacrificed your career just for me , someone who is not so important for you than your future, still u guys came, you guys have always treated me like a baby, either be it the way u call or the way you care, you guys have always been with me and i know you are going to continue the same, even when we were all in same class, i still called you my brothers, because you guys proved me that you were always be there around whenever i needed a brother, be it a mere Raksha Bandhan where you loaded with lots of gifts for me, or when i was depressed for last one year, you were there as always. You guys were the pillar of support, that i and Manik are more grateful for being there for us. Cabir bhai, everyone out there knows you as a carefree and jolly person, but only i know, how much you were hurt inside you. You made everyone laugh in the last one year when we were not even able to smile.
Abhi Bhaiya, you were the most sensible one among us. All these days when we were in states, you kept us all safe and secured in that unknown places. When we already had our own et of problems, you kept us safe from getting hurt from someone or something. If someone or something was hurting me or Manik, or when we took some drastic steps, you held us strong and helped us stand in our feet.
Also, i got few more friends whom i can call as mine. Who also treats me as a delicate flower and takes good care of me. I can also now go on all pajama party with my girl's gang or take all the boys with us for never ending shopping who can never say a single No to me. They became a integral part of our family within a short span of time and now i can't see the future without them.
You both are also a reason for both me and Manik to smile and laugh now. And i m more and more grateful for that.
So now back to the topic for which i started, accepting the fate, yeah i accept that my parents are no more, but I can't accept that thing that they died leaving us behind this cruel world, not just me , all of us, but as i promised Manu, i will accept it, i know moving on from this going to take a long time, still i m going to do, for me, for Manu, for u and for all of us.
Also, i promise i won't be sad anymore or cry thinking about my parents as i have my very beautiful family with me here. I am all satisfied with this and i promise will remember our parents' happy times only.
So as promised, i m standing here, before you all, i m ready to accept our parents' fate and live happily with all of you guys.
She finished her lengthy speech and turned to look at others. That is when she noticed that everyone was standing with teary eyes. Even those who were sitting outside came after finding no one coming out. No one had the audacity to speak, even if they wished to speak, no words had come out of their mouths. Viren just walked towards her , cupped her face ever so lightly as if he hold her to tight, she will break, and placed a really warm kiss in her forehead, engulfing her into his embrace, returning her the much needed solace through his hug, it was not of any other motive, all she got in return was that fatherly solace and warmth , telling her indirectly that he will always protect her from all the evils. Jeevika was no less, she just hugged her tightly, shedding her little tears. She knew that her little sister had gone through a lot, seeing her strong again after a long time, had made her happier than happy tears started flowing through her eyes. Her brothers, bhai and Bhaiya, though they were not blood related, hearing her giving them this much respect and love for them, had no words to say than ruffling her hair softly and held those unseen tears. All her friends gave her an assuring hug that she is going to be there in their life too till long years. Which then became a friends group hug.
One person who was still fixed in his place was Manik. The Manik Malhotra, was standing without blinking his eyes, he was staring at her with lots of emotions, love, care, helplessness for not being there with her when she needed her, happy seeing her real smile after a long time. He was not able to conclude whether to be happy for bringing her smile back or to feel sad as she had lost that innocence which she had back then, now seeing her talking all matured. He was continuously looking at her face when she started talking, he could see many different expressions in her eyes, sad, longing, guilty, love but what topped the most is happiness that not only reflected in her lips but also her eyes, which also in return filled him the same happiness. When he was processing all these things, his eyes met her eyes. And then, Tada, again she felt the warmth she needed without even touching, just through his eyes. Those dark, brown deep eyes which looks cold for others, has always given her the undefined warmth, made her stand strong and in return her small yet vast eyes have always brought him the much-needed peace in him.
Soon, everyone got back to their normal being, went out to dining hall, to have breakfast.
All of them went out, taking the dishes out, and placing them on the table. All had breakfast with much needed talks. After eating, everyone settled in the living room and started talking randomly. That is when Viren saw Ramu kaka going out
Vir- Kaka, where are you going now? Have you eaten?
RK - Haan viren babu, just now we all ate. Now, I'm going to the market as we are now shortage of groceries.
Vir- Yea ok kaka, take the car, no need to walk or take rickshaw. And before u say anything no more arguments.
Rk just nodded as he knows there is no more talking when viren finalizes something. Before he left, he was again stopped now it was Nandini, as she was now excited to go with RK to the market, as it was always her favorite thing to do since childhood. Seeing her that much excited, even Jeevika and viren too agreed as they knew she would be safe with RK. As they were going in their car, it was always much safer. Manik too agreed. After they both left,
Jee - so Manik
Man - Haan bhabhi
Jee - what was that about, the last night and kitchen thing
Manik just sighed and started explaining
Manik - When we went to the States, the first few weeks it was really tough for us to control her. Her panic attacks increased since we were in a new place. Every night she used to get many disturbing nightmares and literally shouts her lungs off throughout the night. So, we took her to a doctor there who Dr.Ranaut prescribed while leaving and she said that it was Nandini who was recollecting the day's memories again and again unknowingly that is resulting to her panic attacks and nightmares. And to get it out of her, she needs to open up. On what happened on that day. Basically, to let everything out. But, even after talking with her so much, she was not ready to speak about that day. Even when she tries to speak, she gets panic attacks again when she was remembering that. So, we all 3 thought about all the possible cases on how to make her sleep.
Cabir - We all know, bringing something out of Nandini is always a huge work for us. Even as a child when she hides some things, getting to bring that out of her is not an easy job for us. So this was more difficult for us to make her speak her heart out. We were thinking of many ways on how we can make her speak. That time only, Manik came across her diary that we saw earlier today. That diary had all the happiest and saddest things that happened in her lie. That is when manic got an idea. Manik thought it would be easy for her to write her thoughts out instead of making her speak. We all know Nandini loves to write. She used to write diary during her childhood days. Yea it may be silly, since she started writing diary just because she heard one of our seniors was writing and she also wants to do the same. So, we used the same trick on her. We thought of trying this once, since we didn't have any other options in hand. We thought of just giving a shot at it, we were not sure if it will be working, but we gave it a go and as always, Manik proved to be doing his best for her.
Abhi - Once when we started to implement this idea, we were concerned with another problem. That is if she writes all in her diary, she will still think of that incident. She was crying everyday thinking about that. And it was not decreasing. So, we did it this way, instead of asking her to write what happened that day, we gave her some situation and asking her to think it b comparing it with her life. Also, since she was still holding on inside her all these pains, so to make her let all the thought out, we thought of making her say herself all that she wrote in the diary the day before. So, one day, Manik called her and explained her what doctor said and thus she will think about it and write what does she think about that either generally or with her own happenings in her life. But there is where we had another issue, we don't want this to go in another wrong way, by letting her think all the negative things again. It may even make her fall into depression again. So, Cabir came up with this idea, when a person speaks out about all their problems. for sure they will be able to get their load decreased in their heart. Also, we can make her understand that she doesn't take it wrong. So, Daily Manik used to write something some general topics and she will write about that in the night and explain to me and Cabir the very next day morning about why she wrote that.
Navya - But why is she saying to you and Abhi only and not to Manik.
Manik - Because i can't see her crying. Everyone nodded in agreement.
Everyone was amazed by their idea, hearing all these things, every person sitting there, admired the three souls who have proved that they could do anything to a person they love.
Alya - But Manik, one more. why was it "My dream for the day". I mean, why specifically that? Because as per what i can understand, it is not related to anything to that dairy or situation na.
Cabir - Wah, let me say why. Because I still remember what Manik said that day the most. I still remember what he said. When we talked about this to Nandu, even she asked why. That is when Manik said to her, "Since all you have left now is nightmares, I am going to bring all the possible dreams in the world for you only to see that never ending smile in that pretty face of yours, so that i could live my remaining life peacefully."
Booooom. Everyone stilled. They don't know that the Manik Malhotra they knew, can even speak this much. When they felt that they knew Manik enough, he proved them wrong with all these newfound information every day. He seems to be a new person everyday they see. Where everyone was looking at him dazzled, he chose to ignore all those stares, just laid down in his brother's lap directing Jeevika's hand to his hairs indirectly asking her to ruffle, getting the much-needed warmth from his loving bhabhi and his dearest bhai, slept peacefully.
********************************
Hope this was good. Please comment on how you feel about this story and chapter. Thanks All!!