Just Enough For Her Little Dream: Book Two

Luna

"Luna?"

I look up at the nurse that has called my name. I quietly follow her into a separate room with a small bed and a sink. I give her a quick bow before she closes the door behind her. I look at the molding walls in here. I didn't know about this clinic for the poor. I would have come here a long time.

I look at my phone and see that Mr. Jeong has called me several times in the past hour. Just because I let him have a glimpse of my heart, he thinks he can bother me whenever he feels like it.

But I still call him back and say, "What now?"

"Is it true? Are you in the hospital?"

"No. I'm at the clinic." I look up at the sound of the door opening and a doctor comes in.

"What's wrong? Are you sick? Are you alright?"

"It's just for a checkup. I have to go." I quickly hang up before I can hear Mr. Jeong's nags. I give the doctor a small bow and sit at the edge of the bed.

"Hello, Ms. Luna. You don't have a last name?"

I shake my head. "Just Luna is fine."

"Okay," he kindly says. "What's the problem, Luna?"

I do a long sigh before giving my long medical history. As always, the doctor is surprised when he hears me say that I've been diagnosed with advanced ovarian cancer.

"I've come here so I can get my medicine refilled." I take out the empty bottle I finished yesterday.

The doctor still seems to be in shock as he takes the bottle. He finally looks back at me with wide eyes. "Miss...How long have you been living with this kind of pain? These narcotics are for people that only have about a year left to live."

Those words used to stab what's left of my heart. But my heart has disintegrated after meeting my parents and those words no longer have an effect on me. I instead chuckle and shrug. "I may have a year or even a few months to live. I don't care. But I don't want to die with that horrible pain."

The doctor is even more surprised by my words, but he quickly hides it this time and says, "I would like for you to get examined at a hospital first. That way, if your cancer has advanced, we can give you the appropriate treatment."

But I don't have enough money for another scan.

I stay silent and only give him a nod. For once, I don't hesitate to ask for help from Mrs. Jeong. I need that medication. If I have to steal it, I will. I cannot resist that kind of pain at night. I'll kill myself if I can't get a hold of that medicine.

So I knock on the door of their apartment. Mr. Jeong answers first and grows surprised at my arrival. I give him a small smile and say, "Is Mrs. Jeong here?"

"She should be getting here soon. Are you okay?"

"I'm okay. I'll wait for her outside then."

"No no. Come in. I was just warming up some bean paste soup. Let me heat you one up for you."

"I'm not hungry."

"I didn't ask. You're never hungry. It's like you don't even have a stomach."

I watch Mr. Jeong guide me inside his pretty home and walk straight into the kitchen. I sit at his small wooden table just by the kitchen and the living room. He brings over another small, black bowl of soup for me and I watch him happily start to eat. I suddenly realize that these might be the last few memories I will have of him. Maybe I'm right. I might have just a few more months left to live. It would make sense. The pain is a constant dull stab that does not leave anymore.

A lump in my throat starts and I look down instead. The smell of his warm soup makes the pain deeper and I have to use all my strength to push that pain down so I can take small sips of his soup.

"Is it good?"

"It's disgusting. I don't know how Mrs. Jeong deals with your cooking. She should've married someone else."

"What did you say?!" He scoffs loudly at my blunt words of tease. I sit back in my seat and give him a firm expression so he can get even angrier. "Look at this, brat? After everything I've done for you. Geez. So ungrateful. Give me that bowl."

"No takebacks," I say as I continue to take small sips of his soup. "I'll finish it all so Mrs. Jeong doesn't have to experience such disgrace."

"Hey!"

I do a small smile and he becomes even more surprised. "You think it's funny? Jesus. I feel sorry for the man that will marry you. I'll tell him to run while he can."

"I don't want to get married or have children."

"Good. Stay lonely."

"I'd rather stay lonely than make the mistake that Mrs. Jeong did of marrying someone like you."

"Okay, now you're crossing the line."

I do a quiet chuckle and nod. "You're just easy to tease."

"Geez. You brat. Why are you like this?"

"I like being like this."

"Yes. It's going so well for you. Oh my."

I look up at him at those words and suddenly feel my heart melt. Is this how it is to interact with a real father?

I watch him forget my tease as if it were nothing. As if he enjoys my company, he begins to talk about his day and the class he took over for me. He then brings me out of my sad thoughts as he says, "Why did you go to the clinic? Are you sick? Don't tell me you're pregnant."

I shake my head and stay silent. He notices my silence and his eyes grow wide. "You're pregnant?!"

"No! Why would you think that?!"

"It's because you're silent and you've been moody lately."

"Jesus. Not even because your wife is a nurse."

"Hey. I'm only worried about you. If you are pregnant, no judgment. We can accommodate a small space for the little one and I can help with some expenses. You will probably have to stop teaching classes though."

I roll my eyes at him. "I said I'm not pregnant. I can't have children anyways."

He does a small laugh, but my silence makes him slowly look up from his bowl. "What do you mean?"

Oh. I suppose it's time to tell him why I can't afford anything.

I let out a long breath through my nostrils. Why is it always so hard to bring out words to explain my condition? It always weighs a thousand pounds on my chest as I say, "I have ovarian cancer. I was diagnosed three years ago. That's why I need to speak with Mrs. Jeong. I need help with...getting some tests done so I can get my medication refilled. I really need it. I can't live without it."

Mr. Jeong is completely silent. He's frozen. I can tell these words are like a slap in the face. They were a slap in the face for me, too.

The sound of a gasp makes us both jump and see that Mrs. Jeong has been standing by the front door. Her eyes are filled with tears as she says, "You have cancer? Why didn't you say anything, Luna? Why didn't you tell us?"

Because I didn't want to feel sorry to leave you...

I can feel my own tears starting in my eyes, but I push them back as I look down in shame. For the first time, I wish I don't have to say that I'm dying. I wish I could have known them longer so I could have spent more time with them.

They accompany me to the hospital. They're so quiet. I've never seen them this quiet. Ever. They leave a heavy silence in the atmosphere all the way to the waiting room. Thankfully, Mrs. Jeong was able to get me a free scan and checkup because of a doctor friend. But I didn't think I'd be terrified like I am now. For once, I wish I was wrong about a gut feeling.

I hear the doctor tell me with Mr. and Mrs. Jeong by my side, "Luna. Your cancer has advanced. If you don't start some sort of treatment immediately, you will only have six months to live."

I never thought I'd be so sad to die like I am now.