Just Enough For Her Little Dream: Book Two

Luna

Who knows? Maybe you might be able to find the answers to all your questions if you become the woman you're meant to be.

Why do I keep thinking of these words from Mrs. Jeong? This is so annoying.

I kick the punching bag even harder and watch it move backward. I do a roundhouse kick and let myself fall to the ground with a tired sigh. I look up at the ceiling. Some of its cracks have grown farther down the wall and I wonder how much longer until this whole place will tumble down. Those cracks remind me of the cracks in my heart. I've tried to seal them but they only grow longer and deeper.

I could find the answers and will that help stop the cracks from breaking my heart again? I've taken the time to repair it during my time in jail. If I find the truth about my parents, will it help?

It'll probably make it worse, but I have nothing to lose. I don't have a family. I barely have a job. I can't even get the job I actually want. I could die today and no one would visit my deathbed. Not even Mr. and Mrs. Jeong would bother to bring me flowers at my tomb.

So I go to the closest police station. The same one that rejected me. The same one that took me to jail. At least I made one single friend during my daily visits in my youth.

Mr. Park, the station's chief, immediately recognizes me as I walk up to the reception. "What are you doing here? I told you I didn't want to see you here ever again."

I smile at his tease. "For once, I'm not here because I got reported." I give him a firm handshake and he leans on the reception counter.

"I'm glad to hear that, Luna. How have you been? When was the last time you came?"

"When you rejected me for police training."

"Hey," he says with a finger pointing at my eyes. "Don't you dare say that. You know I was the first one to say yes, but stupid laws got in the way."

"Yeah. Stupid laws."

He chuckles at the way I go along with his joke. "What can I do for you, Luna? No one is bothering you, right?"

"No. More like I'm bothering them," I say at the memory of the punks I hit on the street.

The chief laughs loudly. "You never change, Luna."

"I actually do need a favor, chief."

"What is it?"

For the first time, I hesitate to speak up. I let my eyes fall for a second so the chief doesn't see through me. "Can you look for someone? Or any kind of record from an orphanage?"

The chief realizes what I want to do and he does a small nod. "I see. Do you know the names of the people you're trying to find?"

"All I know is that my parents went to a police station."

"You're asking me to look for records of...How old are you?"

"Ha. Ha. I'm only thirty-one. It's not that long ago."

"I'll see what I can do. Will you be okay?"

"Since when do you care?" I say with a smirk.

"Since I saw a little girl get dragged into jail because she was with the wrong people at the wrong time."

My smile disappears and I let his words sink in. My mind brings back the memories of that night. I was running from the men that taught me to hate the male species. Since I was kicked out of the orphanage at ten years old, they taught me to fight, steal, hold a gun, scare with a blade, and lie. That night, they taught me to kill.

I was only fifteen years old and I trembled as I held that gun. The men with shining red eyes came at me and I screamed. I accidentally pulled the trigger. I watched my creator fall in front of me and his last words were, "You wench. Life will make you pay for what you've done. You better watch your back everywhere you go."

I took his money because I was hungry. That's all I did. I decided to stop stealing after that night, but I was going to steal one last time for a craving I had after weeks of eating scraps in the garbage. So I ran as fast as I could with his money just as he taught me. I betrayed his trust and he followed me to kill me. Instead, I killed him first and I liked it.

The heaviness of that gun seems to stay on my hand. I haven't held one since then, but I'm afraid to.

This is why I want to find my parents. I went through all that because they let me go. I want to know why. I want to see their faces and I want them to show me the truth. What was it? Why was I not enough to stay? I want them to know everything they've done to me. I have so many marks on my body and I want them to know each and every one of its stories.

The chief calls me at night and tells me the words I've wanted to hear since I was a child. "I found them, Luna. I found where they live, too. They're in Jeju. I'll send you the address right now. Be careful, okay? Don't do anything stupid."

I can't promise him anything. I can't even promise myself I won't explode when I see them. There's a fear deep underneath my firm heart. I want to hide my face away from them with embarrassment. I wonder if they think I'm successful. Maybe they thought that leaving me would be the best for me.

I want them to see what they've done to me.

So I race to the island. I ignore the stabbing pain starting on my side. I take out a cigarette and soothe the pain with its suffocating smell. It at least calms my racing heart as I step out of the car and find a wall to lean on. I can see the small place they live in. They seem like poor people. I scoff at this.

I start to look for my medicine when the stabbing pain grows stronger. I wish I wouldn't have this pain tonight. I need all my strength to talk to my parents.

But the pain disappears and my hand freezes when I see two people come out of the small shack. The woman, who must be my mother, yells things on the phone. A man comes out with a dizzy balance I recognize after a few strong drinks. He tries to hold onto the woman and she pushes him. This makes him fall on the grass and groan.

I listen to her angrily say on the phone, "In-joo! Hey! What the hell is wrong with you?! Why would you do that?! After everything I've done for you!" She's silent and then her furious eyes grow wide. "What?!" She scoffs. "How dare you do this to your mother!"

Those words make my heart stop. Mother? What does she mean? Who is she speaking to?

"Hey! I want to speak to your sisters this instant! Did In-hye want this? Did you drag her into your stupid plans?!"

Sisters? I have sisters?

I've never experienced this kind of feeling before. Not even when I found out I had cancer. I can clearly feel my heart shrink and crumble. I don't need to talk to them. The cracks have broken down all the walls of my heart and those words have crushed them into pieces.

The pain on my side is like lightning tonight and I hold in a cry of pain. I quickly go to my car and lock all the doors. I go to the back and lay across the back seats as the pain on my side grows as quickly as the pain in my heart.