his reign and his fall | larry stylinson

Chapter 7

Chapter 7
"Where is the Eye?" Harry asks. "Lead the way."
"Hey." Louis stops Harry in his tracks, moving Harry's hand so it holds his own. They've been walking for quite some time. Louis let Harry pull him forward for a little while longer, walking in complete silence. Harry would go to say something but his lips would just close back up, not muttering the words he so desperately wants to say. "Are you okay? What did Liam say?" Louis ignores the way Harry's hand pulls away, ignoring the pain in his heart.
"Nothing," Harry says, eyes still dark and full of hurt. Louis wants to reach into his mind. He wants to know what words were exchanged. He huffs out a breath and turns away from Harry. He stares off into the distance, seeing the London eye farther away than before. He knew they were going the wrong way for the few minutes that they were walking in silence, but he didn't feel the need, or desire, to speak up and tell Harry. Harry was in his head, his mind probably racing with the conversation with his friend, and Louis knew it just wasn't a moment to correct the prince's sense of direction. The Eye's lights shine bright in the city, and Louis is surprised Harry couldn't guess that the wheel was the location they were heading to.
"You can talk to me you know?" Louis says. "I know we just met and all, but if you need someone other than Liam to rant to, I'm your guy."
"My guy," Harry repeats. The light rain has stopped by now, their blazers slightly damp from the brief downpour earlier. Louis thinks that he should start carrying an umbrella.
"Yes, your guy." Louis turns back around. "Now, what's got you upset?"
"Nothing Louis, herre gud!" Harry exclaims. "I just want to have a good night out with you, can we please just do that? I don't want to talk about Liam right now."
Louis knows now that he hit a nerve, that maybe Liam isn't as close as a friend as Harry had thought, as Louis had thought.
"Okay," Louis says. He puts a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Everything will be okay. Once you see the view of the city from the Eye, you'll feel better I bet."
Harry doesn't say anything, just nods his head and lowers it to look down at his feet. Louis doesn't hold his hand, but he wants to. He wants to comfort Harry in some way, and maybe the view of the city will ease his pain slightly, but not in the way Louis wants.
They make it to the Eye a few minutes before they close. Louis has to beg and slide the Eye associate a few tenners, to get a spot in line. Louis thinks he sees Harry blush when he does it.
"Enjoy your ride." The associate says, dressed in navy blue and khakis. She hands Harry and Louis their tickets. It takes them a minute to get through the line, but eventually they step into their cart.
"Big Ben isn't the tower," Harry says. "I read that last night, it's the bell inside the tower."
"Oh, same thing," Louis remarks, pointing to the building as it comes into view. Harry's eyes light up as he stares at the surrounding buildings across the city and looks at the boats in the river, parked on their docks. "Beautiful, innit?" Louis asks.
"Yeah," Harry whispers, looking at Louis. "It's beautiful."
That's when Louis kisses Harry for the first time. At the top of the London Eye, a bird's eye view of the city from the low rain clouds and fog that surround the eye. Despite it being cloudy, London looks beautiful, the clouds giving the city character within the concrete jungle of buildings.
Louis kisses Harry for the first time, and Harry pulls away. Harry touches his lips and leans back in his chair, and Louis gets a rush of dread. Had he misread things at his apartment the night prior? Has he misread things since the first time they met those few days ago? Harry's enticing looks, his long stares. Louis leans back as well, too shocked and a bit embarrassed to say anything out loud.
"Louis," Harry frowns. "I can't."
He can't, what? Can't kiss Louis? Can't be with him? A thousand and one questions rush through Louis' mind the moment Harry says those words. The most important one, why can't he?
"You can't, or won't?" Louis asks.
Harry shakes his head.
"This was a mistake, coming here. I can't be with you like that."
"Can't, or won't, Harry?" Louis repeats, stern in his voice. He knows he's not crazy. He can read people easily, and while Harry is a little harder to read than most, he knows he feels something between them too.
"I won't," Harry mutters. "I can't jeopardize my reputation."
Louis lets out a scoff. "Your reputation?"
"Louis, I don't expect you to understand."
They start getting lowered back to the ground, the ride seeming long and never-ending. Louis just wants out of this box immediately.
"Try me." He says.
"I have a country to help run, I have heirs to make," Harry says like it's poison on his tongue. Like he doesn't like saying the words, as if they were told to him and forced in his brain to believe.
"Sounds to me like you preach freedom of expression and tell your people to be who they are, but you won't allow yourself to be you."
"Fuck, Louis I was just trying to let you down easy." Harry spits. "I'm not gay. I can't be with you not because I'm a prince and need to produce an heir to the throne, I won't be with you because I don't like you in that way."
There's something in his eyes that Louis can tell he doesn't mean the words, but that doesn't make them hurt any less. I won't be with you because I don't like you that way.
"You don't?" Louis asks, his voice cracking.
When will this ride end?
"I don't."
"You do though Harry."
"Fuck you, Louis, no I don't." Harry's voice rises, and stands to his feet, the cart shaking slightly. Harry pulls out his phone and rolls his eyes, shaking his head in distress.
"What is it, Harry?" Louis asks.
"Liam is blackmailing me." He holds his phone screen up to Louis' face, showing Louis the photo of them holding hands on the dark street of London. Louis frowns and shakes his head. It's a cute photo of the two of them. Harry is smiling so widely, he looks incredibly happy with his arm wrapped around Louis', their hands engulfing each other. "I can't be who I am. I just can't Louis. I thought coming here could be an escape from the ties I had back home. I thought I wouldn't have to hide who I am. It seems I'm wrong."
"No, you still can." Louis steadies Harry's shaking hands. He guides Harry to sit back down, next to him rather than across. "You still can. Let him leak the photo. What's the worst that can happen? You get to be free?"
Harry doesn't speak until they reach the ground, not until they exit the cart and are a good distance away from the Eye. It stands bright and tall behind them, towering over the city, towering over them. Louis stops Harry in his tracks, forcing him to let out what he is thinking.
"Harry, talk." He wants to make this work, how Harry spoke to him earlier was hurtful, but he knows it's just from stress and worry. It doesn't make it okay, but he just wants Harry to have a moment to have his feelings since Sweden has been telling him how to feel his whole life. Harry deserves to be angry at the moment, and Louis knows pushing the matter isn't helping.
"I can't let him do that." Harry states turning to face Louis'.
And Louis knows he's wrong for saying it, for letting his intrusive thoughts win and blurt out into the world when he doesn't mean them.
"Then I'll tell him to."
Harry backs up, much as he did with Liam earlier in the night. The words hit him. And like before, he says:
"You wouldn't."
No, Louis would never do something so personal to someone he cares about. He could never imagine outting someone knowing his own experience with it.
He was sixteen, and a friend of his at the time, stupid Johnny Fredrick, didn't react to the news of Louis being gay so well. He tormented Louis for a month before finally giving up and just telling the whole school. Louis' parents only found out after Johnny gave Louis a bloody lip and a pretty bruise on his cheek and the school had called them, spilling his not-so-secret, secret. They were loving and accepting, and they didn't treat him any differently than before, and they fought the school to stop the bullying, to stop Johnny, but Louis wished he could've come out in his own way. He mainly wishes he never trusted stupid Johnny Fredrick.
"I-I would." He stutters out. He wouldn't. He only hopes Harry knows deep down that he would never.
"Fuck you, Louis." Louis wishes he could take his words back. Wishes he could see that smile on Harry like before. But Harry just waves at a cab driver. Harry stares at Louis for a moment before he enters the cab, wishing Louis would say something to make things different. He continues to stare through the tinted window, and Louis feels like his heart is in his throat.
"Harry, wait!" He calls, but it's too late.
As cliché as it is, it starts to downpour as soon as the cab pulls away.
***
"You're a bloody idiot, Lou." Zayn smacks Louis' shoulder, pacing back to the counter next to Niall. It's late, and of course, he's at the Malison. Surrounded by Niall, Zayn, and Clara in the kitchen, mainly watching Niall clean. Louis helps though, giving Niall a short break, he scrubs the built-up grease off the wall near the stove, desperate to distract himself from the situation that just occurred.
"An idiot for kissing him or an idiot for telling him I would tell Liam to leak the photo?" He asks, pausing his scrubbing to look over his shoulder. His friends lean against the large kitchen island, all of their arms crossed.
"Both." They say, almost unanimously. Louis rests his arm atop the stove, letting his head fall towards his chest. He wipes the layer of sweat off his forehead with the white sleeve from his collared shirt, careful not to get the contaminants from the gloves onto his face.
"Maybe less for kissing him, but what is it that told yourself to go against him about this photo? He doesn't want to be outed, you of all people know how that feels." Zayn shakes his head. It is true, that Zayn witnessed the whole thing from his adolescence and saw how damaging it was to Louis' inner self. 
"I don't know," Louis says, continuing to scrape built-up gunk off the wall. "Niall, this shouldn't be built up the way it is."
"Hey don't take your anger at yourself out on me. You're the one that told the guy he was a coward." Niall snaps. Louis turns around, brows furrowed in anger.
"I did not say that." He hisses.
"You pretty much did though," Clara says. "You basically said, 'I want to be with you, but since you're scared of coming out, I'm going to tell Liam to leak the photo so you have no choice."
"It's the twenty-first century, he shouldn't be scared of being out." Louis huffs, dramatically taking off his gloves and tossing them into the bucket of water.
"Yeah. Maybe. But that doesn't change the fact he needs to do it on his terms. And you need to think about the position he's in. A gay prince? How often do you hear about that? Have you ever before?" Clara asks.
"You need to apologize, you need to reassure him you won't help leak this to the general public," Zayn suggests. "And stop scrubbing like crazy, we'll get housekeeping to do it. You're going absolutely mad."
"You're just mad he ignored your advances," Niall says. Louis scoffs.
"That's not the reason at all. He feels the same, I know it." 
"Even if he does, he said no. Your reaction to him saying no was way out of line." Clara says. "You're being ridiculous. I suggest you march your ass upstairs and apologize to him right now. You know you're in the wrong right now. Don't let something good be wasted just because you want to keep your ego and dignity intact."
Louis frowns. She's right. They're all right.
***
A week goes by and Louis still hasn't seen Harry around. He hasn't apologized, his guilt engulfing him to coward away into his work. He mainly avoids the floors where Harry would likely be, avoids the common community areas, like the library and gym, and even the pool, of the hotel in case Harry, were to go exploring the Malison again. He mainly stays in his office on the eleventh floor, constantly working through his thoughts. He went to go talk to Harry a week ago, that same night everything happened but his built-up anxiety forced him away. 
He knows he needs to try, try and work things out. Apologize for his behavior, because during the week, he missed him. He misses the conversations, he misses Harry's smile and his laugh. He misses the dumb little chess games they would play during the evening. He wanted to show Harry more of London, more of England if he got the chance to during the month. But now a week has been wasted and Harry's time here is even more limited, and that's what hurts Louis most of all.
Why try when it's a temporary thing anyway?
Is it worth it?
All these questions are what go through his head as he makes his way to Harry's suite. Step after step, his heart pounds. He was working in his office, looking through job applications when he finally got the courage and confidence to go seek Harry out.
When he reaches Harry's suite, he gives the door three knocks, hesitating before knocking twice more. Five knocks. Is that too many? Does he seem desperate? In a way he is.
"Harry," Louis frowns, Harry opens the door, and a sight for sore eyes is he. His eyes are red, with dark circles under them. It seems he had been crying, his hair is a mess, and he wears a silk red pajama set with white polka dots on them. Despite him looking a mess, he still looks sadly beautiful in Louis' eyes. "What happened?"
"You told him to," Harry says, wiping a stray tear from his face. "You told him to leak the photos. Everybody knows now. My sister, my mum. Everyone."
"Harry, I would never!" Louis says quickly, pushing himself into the hotel room. Harry allows it and just leans against the wall next to the door. Louis paces a bit before speaking again.
"I know what I said. And I'm sorry, but I would never actually tell him to do it. I was upset, embarrassed in a way. I was being childish and petty, but please don't think I'm the type of person to do that to someone. In the few days you've known me, do you actually think I would do such a thing?" Louis rambles.
"I don't know, would you?" Harry asks. "I thought I knew you pretty well but now I don't. Now I don't know."
"Harry, please,"
"Just get out, Louis." Harry's voice rises. He opens the door to his suite, pointing his long fingers toward the hallway. "Go!"
"Harry, please! I can help you through this, you shouldn't deal with the backlash alone if there is any. Please just-"
"I don't need, nor want, your fucking help Louis. I never want to see you again." Harry yells. "Get the fuck out."
"That'll be hard won't it then?" Louis can't help his voice rising. "I own this place, I'm always around."
"Are you though? It's been a week and I haven't seen you. Suddenly the photos leak and you're at my door? Just be a decent human being and disappear again until October." Harry forces Louis out the door, his hand on Louis's
"I thought I could trust you," Harry says, shaking his head and closing the door. Louis knocks on it again, five times, six, then seven.
"Harry please, you can trust me. Please just open the door!"
No answer.
"Harry," Louis whines, knocking softly now, letting his forehead rest against the door. He flats his palm on the door, his other hand wiggling the doorknob slightly. "Please let me fix this."
"Go away, Louis," Harry warns, his voice broken. "Just leave me alone right now."
Right now, okay so, maybe he'll come around later? Right? 
"I'm sorry Harry," Louis says again, before taking three steps back and turning his body to walk away from the door completely.
Once he's halfway down the hallway, he hears Harry's door open, and he quickly turns around.
"Wait," Harry says. "Come here."
Louis makes his way back to Harry's room, his heart pounding with every step. He doesn't know what to expect when he reaches Harry. His prince.
But Harry pulling Louis into his room and sliding their bodies together was not on the list. Harry kisses Louis by putting one hand on his waist and the other on his jawline, his thumb caressing his cheek.
Louis pulls back.
"What are you doing?" He asks, letting Harry take his suit jacket off and toss it to the floor.
"Do you want me to stop?" The prince asks, kissing spots on Louis' neck. Louis lets out a shuttered breath, running his fingers into Harry's hair.
"I-I'd rather talk, Harry." Louis hums, hissing as Harry bites a mark into his neck. He sighs as Harry blows cold air against the spot, sending shivers down his spine.
"I don't want to talk. I want you to fuck me." Harry says and Louis' knees go weak. Just a second ago he was yelling, screaming at Louis to leave. To walk out of his life forever. Now he's standing here, asking-"Please, Louis."-begging to be under him. It feels all wrong, but since Harry is going to get what he wants, he'll be forced to listen to Louis talk through it at least. Sure Louis will fuck him, but he wants Harry to know he's not alone in this country, in this world, he has someone. He has Louis.
"Please." Harry drops to his knees. He fiddles with Louis' belt buckle, dropping his trousers and pants to the floor in one swift movement. Harry looks sinful, licking his lips in front of Louis' cock. Louis looks down at him, his mouth dropping open as Harry takes his semi into his mouth, making him grow harder.
"Fuck." He whispers out, flatting one hand against the wall and the other on Harry's neck.
Talk Louis. Talk.
"Harry, please." Louis moans. Please could mean anything. Please what, Louis? His mind tries to find the right words to say, but it's overclouded by the fixation of Harry on his knees, mouthful, and gagging.
"Please what?" Harry asks, pulling away for a second, but continuing his movements right after.
"Please, I want to talk about-fuck-this." Louis tightens his grip on the side of Harry's neck, his thumb right above his Adam's apple. Harry grips the base of Louis' cock as he takes him further down his throat. Louis throws his head back, hitting his head on the wall behind him.
Harry doesn't reply, just continues. He doesn't want to talk, does he?
They need to though. What are they doing?
Louis' legs shudder, signaling he's close to his climax. He taps Harry's shoulder, silently telling him to pull off, which he does. He gets back at eye level, sliding their lips together. Louis can taste himself on Harry's tongue.
"Talk, then," Harry says, jerking Louis off. Louis grips Harry's shoulder, looking down at his hand movements. The sensation is overwhelming, he moans through his thoughts. 
"Uhm, I shouldn't have said what I said." He says, through labored breaths. "About Liam." Harry slows his movements but doesn't stop.
"I would never do such a thing. And I was just pining after you so bad shit-" Harry's thumb slides over his tip, smearing precome down his shaft. "-that I was upset and said things I regret. I would never hurt you."
"Well, you did," Harry mumbles, biting another mark into his neck. Louis hisses at the slight pain of it.
"I know, I'm sorry. I care about you a lot, Harry." Louis moans. Harry stops his movements altogether, pulling away completely. Harry steps back and takes in the sight of Louis. Pants around his ankles, bite marks in the crook of his neck between his elbow. A light layer of sweat was on his forehead.
"Can you fuck me now?" Harry asks, eyebrows furrowed.
"Yeah-okay," Louis replies, taking the rest of his clothes completely off. He followed Harry to the bedroom, and Louis had forgotten how big the place was. High-rise ceiling with a chandelier, divine wall art that cost more than his flat, a huge king-sized bed covered in champagne-colored sheets with a ruffled duvet. Harry removes his clothes slowly, never taking his eyes off Louis.
Louis can't take his eyes off him. His muscled torso, and the way his hips curve slightly, drive him crazy. But amidst the head fog that is Prince Harry's naked body, he still feels like this isn't right.
"Harry, I think we should work things out first." Louis tries again, following Harry's movements to the bed.
"What is there to talk about? You're sorry. My best friend is a backstabbing horrible person, and I want to have sex with you." Harry says, pulling Louis' body closer to his. "What more is there to talk about?"
"I just-"
"You feel guilty." Harry lies in the bed, coating his fingers in lube. He lets his legs spread and sucks in a breath as he circles his hole with one of his fingers. "Stop feeling guilty. You know you were wrong. I'll forgive you eventually."
Louis watches as Harry slowly starts to finger himself open, one finger then two.
Eventually. He'll forgive you eventually.
What would Zayn and Niall tell him to do in this situation? He thinks that Zayn would tell him to leave, that it's a lot at the moment, and Harry is too emotional to think rationally. Niall would probably tell him to give in, that Harry is falling for him too, so what more is there to shy away from?
Louis knows he will give in the second Harry moans out his name, three fingers thrusting in and out.