Selfish

Fine.

Tsukasa was totally one hundred percent okay. He was perfectly fine. He was the fine-est he had ever been in his life. His life was perfect, what right did he have to not be fine?

Soon, he thought, the positive thoughts of being fine would overthrow the lingering negative thoughts of - no! Just think positively Tsukasa, you're a world future star for gods sake! To make others smile, one must be smiling themselves. 

 Tsukasa wandered around his room for a while, thinking about nothing, everything and all the other things in between. 

Saki had gone out to meet Ichika, Honami and Shiho at the Scramble Crossing, so he had the house to himself. Of course Saki was out with her friends. She was cool and talented and NOT loud and selfish  and egotistical. She was so much better than him in every way. 

Tsukasa wished his sister never recovered from her illness. Then he would be the star who was cool and talented.

 No! You can't think that Tsukasa are you mad?! Saki had suffered more than you ever will. 

Stop being selfish Tsukasa.

Suddenly, his thoughts switched to a long-suppressed memory from his first year of middle school.

He was with his mother, visiting Saki in hospital. His mother was talking to Saki. He wanted to show her something he'd learnt at school. He wouldn't stop pestering them and being annoying.

"Stop being selfish Tsukasa." His mother had told him as she pulled him to one side. "We're here for your sister, not you." 

She never asked what it was he wanted to show her, not even when they got home. He had tried for hours and hours on end to catch her attention. 

But she was always busy.

It was always

"Not now Tsukasa, Saki needs help at the hospital."  

"Sorry about that, my son's just being a pest."

"Tsukasa, can't you see that I'm in the middle of something important? The world doesn't revolve around you."

That was the moment he decided never to tell his mother anything ever again. She was always busy with something, be it work, friends, his father or Saki.

It was never him.

Never him.

"Never me..." Tsukasa mumbled solemnly. He sank to the floor and sat curled in a ball until his sister came home.