lovely |k.k|

XXXI

I was the first to arrive to class.

I half-expected him to be sitting there, waiting for me like he always did. Boredly scrolling through his phone, or looking around the room in disdain as the rest of the class filed in.

And then like always, his eyes would catch mine, and there it was. That mix between relief and pleasure, hidden under some blanket of feigned indifference. Like we were the only ones here who spoke the same language, came from the same place.

We were the same.

We would always be the same—

I'd been snapped out of that little thought spiral when the bell rang, letting us know it was time for class. I'd been zoning out, using Olive's chatter about work and school as a cover.

If she seemed surprised that I didn't meet up with Kevin before class, she didn't say anything, simply giving me a smile and wave goodbye before gesturing that I need to call her.

This morning, I made absolutely sure that I'd given both Sam and Olive my number. Olive already told me she didn't text—something about how it wasn't natural for humans to have constant contact with one another—but she said she'd call me after work if she remembered, and we could start planning where we would go next weekend.

Sam already had sent a message, I read it a few classes after English, surprised he'd reach out so fast:

'Hi :)'

I'd rolled my eyes when I saw it, almost found it endearing. Right now, it was stirring up dinner from the night before, if that was even possible. Another guy, another problem. I liked Sam, I really did. He was normal. He was easy.

He didn't think up plans to shoot me with arrows in his spare time... and he was never going to choke me until the air left my lungs.

But his boring text messages were the last thing I could think about as I stared down the door. The bell had rung for the second time, letting us know that class was starting.

Kevin still hadn't walked through. If he did now, he'd be late.

Kevin was a lot of things, but he wasn't the type to be late to our class. Not this one. Not today, when he had every reason to be here.

Maybe he wasn't at school, but I felt his eyes. I knew he would be here. Kevin couldn't just... watch my car disappear from the lot this morning and not follow.

I thought back to his visit yesterday, in my house. As I curled behind the doorway to my stairs. His apology, his gravelly voice...

I pinched my hand to snap out of it.

As the killer, he'd want to do everything in his power to keep me quiet. He would need me to promise that I wouldn't tell anyone about the date. Not the cops, not the teachers, not the school counselors.

I already planned what I would bargain for. I knew exactly what I would want him give up, just so I could stay silent about what he did to me.

But then again, I still hadn't told anyone. There was no bargain in sight yet. I was just holding onto hope that Kevin was as desperate as I was.