marilyn thornhill one shots

euphoric

info: you(afab) are facing difficulties in your body due to gender dysphoria. little did you know, but marilyn knows and helps you out.

fluff - tw/cw - gender dysphoria, depression, crying!

italics(𝘗𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸) are your thoughts!

my class ended and i forced myself to stand. 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘨𝘰𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳. my face remained relaxed as i exited the room, almost invisible to my peers. walking through the corridor always felt strange. i would always have my airpods in and would be listening to my favourite music. as a result, i would cautiously glance around at everyone as i slipped through the bustling friend groups. 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘪'𝘮 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦. but i didn't care. in fact, it was a good thing. i couldn't smile, or show that i cared about anything at all. the dark shadow of sadness always followed me wherever i went. he was here right now. he never leaves. this inability to smile was caused by one key issue in my life. who i am. i don't know. it was a great mystery. i mean, if i didn't know who i was, how would anyone else know? my thoughts ended when i arrived at the still dorm which nurtured me.

i entered the room. empty, as always. i wasn't complaining. 𝘪 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦. i placed my bag down and approached the standing mirror in my room. at the sight, i felt a sharp stabbing pain in my chest. i hated how i looked. but why? my hair was (y/h/c) and (y/h/t), but it didn't satisfy me. i had delicate features, that some may even envy me for, but i wasn't satisfied. and my body was just fine, but it still didn't satisfy me. that seemed to be the root of my issues, however. my body made me feel wrong, and misplaced. i feel like i am not valid, and like something went horribly wrong in the decision of my genetics. my hands landed on my shirt and could feel the bumps below. tears seemed to strike my eyes as i turned sideways and analysed my chest. 𝘪 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘪𝘵. i pressed down aggressively, biting my lip at the aching pain in my chest now. but not caring about it. 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘰 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺. the tears fell as i slumped to the floor and tucked my head into my arms.

*a few days later*

i was laid on my bed with the music lightly playing next to me, through my phone on my nightstand. i was drawing as it was one of my hobbies and it really distracted me from anything. then suddenly, my head snapped to the door at a set of gentle thuds. "come in?" my slightly-feminine voice striking me like a knife, causing me to wince. the door slowly opened and miss thornhill, my 'dorm mom', peered half her body around the door, smiling like she always did. i placed my book and pencil down on my sheets as i sat up, panic tingling my senses. before she could speak, i did. "oh- oh sorry. is the music too loud? i'm sorry." she closed the door and shuffled over while gently talking. "hey, no. i'm not here about the music. it's fine." by now, she was sat on the edge of my bed. and i couldn't help but notice something behind her back. non the less, i wouldn't say anything and let her continue.

"so uh- i hope you don't mind but i-" she seemed to grow more nervous as she spoke, my eyes beaming through her were probably not helping. "the other day, i came to talk to you about the decorating committee." i nodded my head, regardless of my confusion as to why i didn't remember this. " but when i knocked, you never answered. so, i took it upon myself to open the door and see if you were alright." i was still puzzled as she went on. "i saw you looking in the mirror, dear." she seemed to admit this like the climax and my mind went numb as she did. she placed her hand on my knee and she went on. "do you want to talk about it?" i glanced up at her as shock overcame me. she looked sweet, and sincere. i swallowed the lump in my throat, but words couldn't leave my lips. after a few seconds of deafening silence, i found the words i was looking for.

"i don't know. i don't feel like a girl, or a boy. i just don't want to keep being pushed into boxes. i am a person, and want to be treated as such." i glanced at marilyn as tears filled her eyes. with no warning, she pulled me into a soft, warm hug. i was stately at first, but soon relaxed as i cried quietly into the crook of her neck. after a few seconds, she pulled away and looked into my eyes. then she spoke. "do you have any pronouns you would like to use? or even a name?" i smiled as i have never been treated so well. i thought for a second before my faint voice punctured the silence. "i want to try out (your preferred pronouns) and maybe (your preferred name)." she smiled like i had won an award and she was my proud mother. then she hugged me once again while repeating the same words in a whisper. "i'm so proud of you. thank you for telling me." i could hear the crying in her words as she rocked us back and forth.

she pulled away and smile while blushing, then her inviting voice sounded in my ears. "i actually got you something." she finally removed her hand from behind her back and revealed a cream binder. my mouth dropped and tears filled my eyes rapidly, looking at it. then i looked to her as she held it in front of me to take. i slowly picked it up, mouth still wide, and examined it. her words left her lips as i did. "it was quite difficult to find. but i finally found one at this little store in Jericho. i hope you like it." as she said the last sentence, i looked up at her and pulled her into a very tight hug. she chuckled at this as she hugged me back. all i could say was a few words. "thank you. thank you so much." tears fell into her shoulder but she didn't react. all she did was hug me with passion and move us back and forth.

i pulled away, this time. then i said something i was unsure about. "could you help me try it on?" she looked at me, then smiled once more while nodding her head. i smiled and went to remove my shirt. she hurriedly looked away but i laughed in response. i placed my hand on her arm and spoke. "it's okay. i don't care." she slowly turned and looked at me. then i picked up the binder and pulled it over my head. when i was on, i was about to get up, but marilyn stopped me as she fiddled with it, like she wanted it to be perfect. i smiled as she let me get up. i got to the mirror and froze. 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘦. my hands covered my mouth as i smiled and cried simultaneously. marilyn appeared behind me and placed her hands on my shoulders, smiling too as she examined my figure. "you look handsome." i giggled and she leaned her head on my shoulder and i leaned my head against hers. we connected hands and talked for a while. 𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘦𝘶𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘢.

a/n - so this is different but it was very fun to write. also if i said anything that's incorrect or offensive to some, please let me know so i can fix it and if i did offend anyone with any mistakes, i am so sorry, this is simple a chapter that i have wrote and did not mean to upset anyone in the process. also i want to point out, in case you didn't notice, there was a massive metaphor throughout. so the dark shadow at the start represents depression but at the end, marilyn is behind us like she has become the new shadow. it mean that she has gotten rid of the depression and is here now instead. have a great day/night, i love you <3