New Kid(Slow Updates)

39: relapse

⚠️TW: relapse, SH, swearing⚠️
Y/n's pov:

Quinn chose a movie, finding Dory to be correct.
I snuggled up to her and she put her arms around me.

I couldn't stop thinking about one thing that was written in the article.
The one suicide attempt I had, everything was written down to the smallest detail.

Everything as in everything, from how I tried to what pills it were and how many I took.

I don't know who else except my social worker Mrs. Davis should know, I mean I don't know if she has told anyone but Mrs. Davis just doesn't seem like someone who would tell others personal stuff like that.

"Penny for your thoughts" I looked up at Quinn, she began to run her fingers through my hair.

"It's just the article that's filling my mind" I said with a half smile, Quinn smiled a little.

"Want a snack we have pretty much everything?" I asked trying to get my mind off of things.

"Sure along as you eat a little aswell" Quinn said with an innocent smile.
I chuckled as I stood up going to the little kitchen.

I found a cucumber and cut up some cucumber sticks.
I let some tears slip down my face as I looked at the cucumber sticks with fear on my face.

I put the cucumber sticks in a bowl before wiping my face and going back to Quinn.

I sat down next to Quinn who immediately grabbed a cucumber.
She took one more and ate them.

I took a deep breath before grabbing a cucumber stick, I took a bite and looked at Quinn who was focused on the movie.
"Hey hey look that's Nemo I found Nemo" Quinn laughed at her own statement, she was pointing to the screen.

"Yeah I'm proud of you lil Harley" I said smiling, I felt safe with her next to me, I felt like she could just push all the problems away, only if it was just for a moment.

After a while I realized that the whole cucumber stick was gone.
Quinns phone rang so she picked it up.

"Hey darling, your half brother is back and he is requesting you can you come home?" I heard, she looked at me and I gave a half smile and a slight nod.

"Yeah I'll be home in five" Quinn placed a kiss on my cheek before rushing away.
I sat there looking at the door, like my life just stopped.

My phone vibrated making a sound against the wooden table.
I let my body move me there cause my mind was far gone.

The screen lid up saying {Irene(mom0.2): we will be home tonight} I broke down I couldn't handle it anymore, the show.

I pushed myself to go into my room, I slid down the door sobbing, unable to catch my breath.

I looked around my room desperate to find my razor blades.
I got up and started to turn my room upside down.

I found nothing but my broken mirror.
I smashed it down into the floor quickly finding a big enough piece for me to hold.

I let it run over my wrist once, then again, then again, I kept doing it unable to stop my body, like it was in a trance.
Like anyone could snap me out of it with the slightest sound.

The sound of shattering glass came from downstairs, it snapped me out and realize what I did.

"Fuck, fuck fuck" I mumbled, I ran out of my room and around to house looking looking for band aids or sterile dressings.

"No no no don't do this, no" I began crying.
"Fuck!" I kicked the table.
I realized that the only band aid or sterile dressings are downstairs.

I began panicking and I started feeling dizzy aswell.
"No no no no no!" I said, the blood dripping down my arms.