New Kid(Slow Updates)

52: Fuck

Y/ns pov:

As humans, we tend to have a specific weary hanging around you in life. This tiredness, this feeling of being burnt out.

It's always hanging around in the air, always there, you might not realize it, not when you're out, discovering the great big world.

But it's always there.
And when you finally find it, it's almost like you get this wistoragic feeling. Almost like your life was a great series that ended when you realized the weary.

But that's how humans are. That's how we work. We don't notice the small things until they're leaving.

Like how the trees grow, how their leaves change color slowly.
Or how the school we used to go to changes. Or how the little lake with ducklings loses its ducks and turns boring and green.

We don't notice that about people either. We don't notice how their anger turns physical. We don't see the warning signs before they leave.

Or before they at least try their best to leave.

And when they're gone, we ask ourselves,'How did we not notice it?' And how did we not.

I mean, if you know the warning signs, they're clear as day when they are showing. But that's the problem, we don't know them, cause they differ, from person to person.

We can't put Jimmy from down the street in a physc ward just because he has out bursts of anger, or Karen from next door cause she's withdrawing herself from the neighborhood gathering.

Then again, it's all medical signs of being suicidal. But it isn't enough to point out.

And people might ask themselves
'What went through their mind?' After a loved one committed suicide.

well, nothing, not until you realize what you did, but often people don't have an escape.

That's the thing about death. It horrors most people, but it ain't as terrifying as you'd think.

Numerous people have expressed that it was calm and quiet.
Some even got angry cause they didn't want to be revived.

Suddenly, you're peaceful and don't have to worry about a thing. You just kind of float around in peace.

Neither do you in a coma, I mean, your brain is active and senses sounds and voices, feelings, and touching.

But it can't respond. it can't move your body. You can't tell them you're there and hearing what they're saying.

And then you get revived. It feels like you're being sucked out through a portal.

At least, that was what I felt.

Sebastians pov:

"She's flatlining," I heard. A doctor yelled. I looked at y/n. She was pale as a ghost.

They started doing cpr, I took her hand and squeezed it.
It felt like a horror movie.

I looked at the heart monitor, and it went up.
"Quicky charge defillibrator to 200" the put something on it.

"Sebastian, can you move her clothing from her chest?" They asked as they charged it.

I found scissors and cut it open, then moved them away.
They put the metal things on her chest and told me to let go of her before they sent a shock through her body.

They charged it again and did the same thing before she was stabilized.

It might have been a danger on the plane, but we all survived.

They quickly made sure that everything was alright. I put my hand on her head, moving hair from her face.

"This might have caused soem damage to her already damaged vertebrae, but she  should be alright," the doctor said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I nodded and let some tears fall. She was still in a coma, and they wouldn't take her out of it until she was back in America.

I grabbed her hand and covered it in mine before placing a kiss on her hand.
It would take around 6 hours, so the rest of the cast would come much later.

We were only 3 hours in, and she already got a heartstop.
"Hey y/n, you can't run over me like that. It ain't fair," I chuckled and let some tears fall.

Luckily, i fell asleep for the rest of the flight and got woken up by a doctor. Apparently, I was in the hospital. They had carried me inside with y/n.

I looked at y/n.
She was still sleeping but seemed to breathe on her own.

I  grabbed her hand again and gently stroked it with my thumb.
She has gotten on a new hospital gown, so her chest wouldn't just show to everyone.

Her hair was even done in a little more comfortable style.
Another doctor came in, and the other left. Well, I guess it was a nurse.

"So when y/n wakes up again, she'll need to have a back brace for at least 6 to 8 months, where she might need to wear it longer. She'll need lots of rest the couple first months where she can start walking around after around 4 months, " He said and showed me a plan.

I nodded while inhaling shakingly.
"I think it's best if you tell her, I know it's supposed to come from a doctor, but she will hate you less." I let out a laugh and gently stroked y/n's face.

"I will let you be for now, press the red button right there" he pointed to a small red button "when she wakes up" he gave me a gentle pad on the back before leaving.

_____________________________________

a/n: anyone else starting their winter depression early this year? No? Alright.

But I still want you to know that you might be the cause to global warming, cause damn. You. Are. HOT

Love~M~