We're Crashing and Burning

Cas/Dean

I watched as the flash of blue left his eyes and faded back to green. I almost didn't recognize the look of hurt that was aimed towards me.

"Oh um, I'm sorry. I didn't think-you probably didn't like it. I don't-I'm sorry." Dean stutters, looking around frantically.

"No! No, I liked it. I did, I was surprised. I'm sorry. I did like it I promise."

"Oh," Dean breathes out, more a sigh of relief than anything. "That's good. That's real good."

I study his facial features, the way the stress lines seem to fade away. All of his features seem to soften. I notice the scars that have healed and faded over the years, some seem like they would have been minor injuries, others seem like they required several stitches.

"Dean, what are those scars from?"

Dean suddenly jerks away. His face stiffens as if he's fighting off old memories that weren't all to great. When he talks there's a new edge in it that wasn't there before.

"It's nothing."

I look at his eyes, cold and harsh. The stress lines are back and he looks worn out even though being young and good looking. I suddenly start looking at his hands and any other place where skin showed. There was scars all over them too, just like the ones on his face. I didn't dare push any further, although every instinct had told me to.

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I couldn't tell Cas what the scars were from. Suddenly I was having flash backs to my time with my brother Sammy, and my dad on the road. I could remember nearly every single story to my scars. The more prominent ones weren't from the hunts, they were from protecting Sammy from dad. He'd often smart off or bitch about our recent hunts, about how it wasn't fit for us. Dad, being the drunk bastard he is, would lash out. Sam never got hit by dad, not once, because I was always there to take the beatings. Sammy was the only thing I had cared about, and I would not let him get hurt. It was worth it though, because Sammy was the one with a future, not me. There was no hope for me, but God, for Sammy? Sammy could achieve the moon if he wanted to. He was so smart. There wasn't hope for me, but Sammy could still get something.

"Dean?" I hear.

I look over to see Cas, who was starring at me worriedly. He had meant to pull me out of my thoughts, quite obviously. He looked as if he intended to say something, but quickly shut his mouth. I was glad he did, because I had no intention of answering those questions I was sure he'd ask, at least not yet.