We're Crashing and Burning

Cas

I woke up startled, nurses rushing in and Dean's heart monitors going wild. I'm suddenly pulled out of my spot only to be replaced with a nurse who was trying to calm Dean down. I had never seen him so erratic. His eyes were wide with fear and he was thrashing about, swinging at nurses and screaming for them to get away. They rush me out of the room, closing the door behind them. I'm left with only the muffled screams of Dean's terror and my thoughts. I rush to a hospital phone seeing as my cell phone was left in the room without me. I dial Sam's number, and tell him what's going on in the most steady voice I could muster. He sounds frantic and says he'd be there in a few minutes. All I could do is wait for Sam since he was the only family who came to visit.

Nearly 2 hours had passed when Sam came out to talk to me.
"They diagnosed him with PTSD." Sam says, tears swelling up in his eyes.
I stand there in shock. What had been so bad that it left a permanent mental scar?
"From what? How? He seemed okay?"
"I can't tell you Cas, that's Dean's job. You can go see him now if you wanna." Sam says, gesturing towards Dean's room.
I get up and walk to the door, barley pushing it open. Dean is sitting up on his bed, catching my eyes as I walk in.
"Heya Cas." He says in his normal toned voice. You wouldn't have guessed he'd be in the hospital for sometime.
"Hello Dean."
I walk over to the seat I had spent the last weeks in by his side. His hand is resting on the side of the bed, so without a second thought I grasped it in my own, only to be greeted with a flinch and a squeeze. I open my mouth but quickly close it to stop the massive wave of questions that was surely to spill from it. I can feel Dean looking at my desperate attempts to make a conversation, but he never says anything.

We sat in silence for what seemed endless. Dean seemed zoned out, probably deep in thought, so he never really noticed me studying his features. He looked worn out, perhaps like he hadn't slept in 3 days, when in reality he had only woken up. His eyes didn't seem as bright a green as they had once been, but maybe a deep reflection of the pain he felt. I wanted so desperately for him to come clean about everything. I needed to know what happened to send him to the hospital, even if I couldn't help. I only wanted to hold his hand and tell him everything would be alright. I had to blink back the tears that started swelling in my eyes. Dean must have caught sight of a tear streaming down my cheek, because I feel his thumb whipping them away.
"Baby what's a matter?" Dean says, moving towards the side of his bed so that he's directly in front of me. Hearing his voice caused me to break out in a full out crying fit. It felt like I had waited an endless time to hear his voice, and now that I could it didn't sound like him. And not like a difference voice him, but the way he carried it. He didn't sound as sure of himself, instead he sounded broken.

"I just- I just missed you so much. I was so worried Dean, I was scared id never get to hear your voice again, or see your eyes or-" My cries get caught in my throat and I'm unable to finish. Dean looks ready to cry as well and just pulls me into his chest. He hugs me tight and I never want him to let go. He strokes my hair,
"Shush Cas baby it's okay, I'm here. It'll be alright" he repeats it over and over again till I calm down, holding onto me for dear life as I do him. We stay that way for quite awhile, before he decides to lie down. I start to get comfy in my chair before he clears his throat. I look up to see him scooted to the very side of the hospital bed, patting a spot beside him. I smile to myself, climbing next to him and under the sheets. I burry my head into his chest while he rests his chin on top of my head. I fall asleep with the comforting feeling of strong arms around me and the sense of home that I longed for.