Regrets

24

The next morning was pretty normal, considering we both had barely woken up. Regardless, seeing him this morning brought back all the memories and butterflies from last night.

Christmas was right around the corner, meaning that the guys would be back soon. I was glad, I honestly missed having them around. I started to think about getting them gifts when I saw Tom dressed up and ready to leave.

It was strange. Instead of something casual like he'd normally wear, he put on black dress pants with a white collared shirt. He even smoothed his hair down. I didn't get why as it was still cold in the flat. Hell, I even had my hood on.

"Whoa, what's the occasion?"

He grabbed his wallet and quickly met my eyes before shoving it into his pocket. "I have an appointment."

I glanced at the time. "At 8:30 on a  Sunday morning?" Even though I meant it as curiosity, it came up sounding like I was questioning him.

Snapping his head towards me, he put his coat on and rolled his eyes. "Yes. It's the only time we can meet before they take off for the holidays. I won't be back for a while."

He handed for the door before I stopped him. "Aren't you forgetting something?" Smirking, I got up and went up to him with my hands in my pockets. Before I could say anything he rolled his eyes and grabbed me by the strings of my hoodie. The hoodie closed around my face when I felt his lips on mine.

"There, happy?" Not bothering to remove the hood and uncover my now warm face, I held up the car keys that were in my pocket. He went quiet and soon just laughed. I joined in, but he still hadn't grabbed the keys when I heard the door open.

"It's nearby, so I'll be walking. I shouldn't be long. If by any chance you do happen to need me call Edd for the address."

And with that, he walked right out the door. It was weird being alone again. I hadn't been alone in his flat since Friday. Come to think of it, shouldn't he have been at work today? I wasn't going to think much more of it until I remembered his coworker. That envelope! My curiosity sparked, but I didn't move. I shouldn't. Tom would most likely be mad if he found out I went through his things.

But on the other hand, I would be looking around anyways for my original target. It wasn't in the storage so it had to be here. If I couldn't find it here, then it was long gone.

Despite my worries, abandoning my plans were out of the question, so I got up and went straight to his room. Glancing around, I didn't know where to look as I pretty much looked everywhere. Well, other than his work bag but he wouldn't keep it in there.

I grabbed his work bag and tossed it on the bed, just to make sure. And just as I thought, nothing useful. But I did have fun messing with his keychains. He had a bottle charm with liquid in it and it was just fun to watch it move around.

"And so how do you plan on handling this?"

Holding myself back from making a snarky remark, I forced a smile. "I plan to get rid of all the bottles and cans. Last night was the last time I'd ever drink again."

She nodded and wrote some things down. I'll admit, I don't like her. I personally think therapy wasn't for me, but it worked for Edd after the accident so here I am.

"Alright Thomas, I know last time we met we discussed that the root of your problem may have been caused by past events. As I recall, you started doing well on your recovery, until some anniversary came up. Has that same event been stressing you out? Maybe you've begun to think about it?"

I acted as if I had no idea what the event was. "Not that im aware. Nothing has changed from the last time I was here, just less drinking."

Watching her write more stuff down, I grew impatient. I get that this is supposed to help but just talking things through has never been my sort of thing. Finally, she put her pen and clipboard down on her lap.

"Alright, we still have quite some time left that I would like to use to discuss something you mentioned during one of our first meetings." She grabbed a few papers from underneath her current sheet, putting on a show of shuffling through the pages and reading a few things. "You mentioned that in your old home, and I'm referring to the home with Edd and Matt, you said that you had three roommates, correct?"

Feeling the corner of my mouth twitch, I gave a fake chuckle. "Sorry, but no. I may have misspoke because I only ever lived with Edd and Matt. Not one more, not one less."

She nodded. "Ok, and now I would like to bring up something you mentioned back when we discussed your drinking. These are your exact words, "back when we all lived together, the four of us would always go out and do whatever. Them two would go do whatever the hell it is they like, while we would go and grab a drink at the pub." Here you are constantly referring to a fourth party, was this maybe someone who lived there for a short time? Or maybe even a neighbor?"

I could tell her the truth, but I knew that meant having to explain a lot more than I wanted, so I countered with my own question.

"Sorry, but why is this other person important? Regardless of who they are, they are no longer apart of our lives and hasn't been around since."

Nodding, she wouldn't break eye contact as she laid back comfortably in her chair. Picking up her clipboard again, she wrote down some more before meeting my eye again.

"By your body language and sudden change in response, I'm assuming that you and this, unknown roommate, did not end on good terms. Although I do not know this for certain, my guess for your relapse last year was that the anniversary was their departure. Maybe the day you both stopped talking or even got into an argument."

Sharply inhaling, I narrowed my eyes and kept my cool. "Your point?"

Taking a long and exaggerated breath, "Are you currently stressed out?"

Raising an eyebrow, now curious where this was heading, I nodded.

"Is this person back in your life? Is that what's stressing you out?"

I will say, that made me take a moment. Was Tord stressing me out? I wasn't sure how long I was thinking for, but soon, Jennifer looked at the clock and began putting all of her papers in order. "Well Thomas, I see our time is almost up. Is there anything else you would like to discuss before we head out?"

I shook my head and got up. Before I could leave, she kept talking, and because I was paying her I might as well listen.

"You know Thomas, you don't seem to engage very much. Why is that?"

I rolled my eyes and looked back at her, "I dunno. This isn't really my thing and frankly, you haven't helped me much. I could get the same advice from Edd."

She nodded and stood as well. "Well, I know this isn't for everyone, but before you go, I have one more thing I'd like for you to think about."

I nodded.

"I've spoken to Edd, and if I recall correctly, he referred you to me. Now why would he if he didn't think I could help?"

That made me stop again. Before I could even try to reply, she opened the door and walked me out to the front desk. "If you do change your mind about therapy," she motioned to the receptionist, "you are more than welcome to come back. I have a final opening tomorrow if you are interested. Until then, happy holidays."

She turned away and greeted her next client. I looked at the receptionist as she seemed to already be in the process of booking that appointment, just waiting for me to approve. "Save that spot please, I'll call before you close today." She nodded, and I was out the door.
________________________________

So in case it wasn't obvious, I have never been in a therapy session so I have no idea if what I wrote is a good representation of one or just complete bs lmao

Also I'm tryna get the story moving cuz my mind has thought of a new story but I refuse to start it until I finish this and the other story!!