How J Hope Has Fallen

Two Kindred Spirits

He pulls you back to him, "Oh, Lill, no, it was not your fault. It was an accident. Please don't blame yourself." 

He lifts your face to look at him. "It's not your fault." 

You wipe your tears as he sighs, wishing he could make things better, "You should have at least come to me."

He wipes away one of your tears, "You know that's a pinky promise we made to each other. When we feel like we're drowning, we seek each other out no matter where, what, or when."

 Sniffling, you say, "I was just so ashamed."

"Never be ashamed, Lill," he hugs you and asks, "Can you tell me what happened when you went home? You weren't there alone, were you?"

"When I got there, my youngest sister was home on break. She was with me, and I started to recover physically." 

You look up at him, tears spilling, " It was so hard, Yoongs. I wanted to talk to you, but you guys were so busy, and the times I did try to call or text, they wouldn't go through."

"You know I would have answered even if all you did was cry. I would have listened just so you wouldn't have faced this alone."

 His chest tightens with regret at not being there for you, but there were zones when traveling on a world tour where they couldn't get cell service, or it wasn't allowed in certain areas.

You smile weakly at him. "I know you would have Yoongi, but I . . . Ailie may be my baby sister, but she has a wise soul. She talked some sense into me and helped me see that Hobi was where I belonged. I couldn't wait to get back to him."

He asks, "Have you told Hobi about the baby?" 

You shamefully shake your head. He frowns at you. "Why? Lill, why not?" 

"I lost the baby so early. I didn't want Hobi to suffer the hurt I was feeling. Not when you guys had such a hectic schedule. Only Tae, and now you know."

Yoongi disagreed with you not telling Hobi, but he understood why you didn't. You finish wiping the last of the tears and blow your nose.

You and Yoongi spent the next hour just talking about all the things coming up concerning the concert. 

"I'm Sorry, Yoongs. I came because I thought you needed to talk, but you know me too well." 

He gives you a big hug and a swift kiss on the cheek, then scoots off the bed.

He stands and puts his hands on your shoulders.  "I'm glad you opened up to me about it. I knew something was wrong."

You smile up at him, "Thank you. Talking about this with you is like a pressure valve has been released." 

He gently squeezes your shoulders. "Any time you need to release some pressure, come to me, but right now, I really, really need to release some pressure myself. Nature is calling." 

He hurries to the bathroom, and you softly laugh at him.

You do feel better sharing your feelings with him. You both always did when either of you needed to talk. Now you have Hobi, but you couldn't bring yourself to tell him this one thing. You never would want to cause him that much pain.

You stand up and walk around the room for several minutes to relieve the tingling in your legs from sitting cross-legged for so long. Then you stand at the window, holding the curtains back, and look at the city lights.

Yoongi comes up and stands beside you. "Beautiful, isn't it?" he says, putting his arm around your waist, "The way the light holds back the darkness?" 

You say to him with a gentle smile, "We are each other's light." 

He slightly nodded in agreement, for he knew it was true.