London's Calling : Ed Sheeran Fanfiction [Wattys 2015]

Chapter 39:Present

Ed's POV :

After the funeral everything all became real. I watched as Leylah spoke about her family and I could tell how much it ripped her apart inside, but she didn't cry. In her eyes, there was apparent pain, but I knew her. She was too numb now.

There were hugs and kisses and handshakes from distant family members and cousins of all sorts. Words on words, rambling on about a certain memory or how well she did with the speech. It was no surprise to me that she came up with something on the spot and it was beautiful. Her way with words was beautiful and I knew that. It was just another layer to her that I could never get enough of, but she wasn't showing anything to anyone today.

There's this wonderfully awful thing that Leylah does to stay in what she calls her "normal state". She will plaster a fake happiness onto her face to act as if she is fine to others. I see right through this, of course. I know to look to her eyes for the truth. Does no one else do the same? She goes hours on end talking and smiling with people telling old stories and complimenting her. Her laugh is hollow and rings in my ears. She is empty and I just want her to be able to go home and rest, for all of this to be over.

After three hours of socializing and stressing, we are able to catch a cab home. As usual, I brought our hands together and her weight fell onto my shoulder.

"You did it, love" I whisper down to her.

Her hand rests on my knee and her eyes close, "Mhm."

After arriving at the apartment building, we make our way up the stairs and into our own door. She stops and sighs while I decide to help her out of her coat. As she turns around, I feel a hand touch my face then slide around to the back of my neck. The next thing I know, her body is up against mine and I can feel her breath through my shirt and against my chest. She is clinging onto me like her life depends on it.

My hands found her waist and I decide to pick her up to save her from anymore stressful situations. She refused of course, but there was no fight other than words left in her. She was out of her "normal state" now.

I carried her bridal style and her head rested on my chest, but her arm had never left so she was still depending on me for support.

Her eyes fluttered as I set her on the bed and her grasp loosened.

"Thank you" she muttered.

I crawled around her on the bed and we both sat with our heads slightly up against the headboard. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her eyes close.

"Love" I turned to face her and she brought the covers up to her chin, "Come here."

I reached my arm out to her and I saw as her face scrunched a little. It was a look of pain and sadness all at once, like she was holding back all she wanted to let out earlier that day. I quickly pulled her in when she grabbed my arm and I heard soft crying almost immediately.

The only thing that came to mind was to rub her back softly, she always loved that notion for comfort.

"Ley. Love. Turn over for a second."

She didn't move, but she was limp and let me move her. When she was flipped over onto her other side, I placed her hair over her shoulder and came close to her body.

"I love you" I fit my head onto her shoulder and spoke softly into her ear. My hands found the zipper to her dress and undid it. There she was, still laying motionless and quiet. When I had finished with the zipper, she let me pull off her dress and she resituated groggily. Still laying behind her, my hand moved from her shoulder down her arm, feeling the unbelievably soft skin. Still no response. I brought my lips to the back of her neck and laid a long kiss on her spine. Gently, I flipped her over onto her stomach, making sure she wasn't asleep.