Keeping Secrets

Chapter One "I wonder who you're dreaming of tonight." Kira's Pages

I drank the rest of my coffee from the Starbucks below me and threw the cup away. I wasn't interested in the number that was badly scribbled on the side of the cup under my name. I was never going to call the perv who served me and told me that I looked like a good time. Little did he know that I didn't swing that way and that perverts are definitely not my type. I placed the rest of my folded clothes into the black suitcase lying open on the gray covers of my bed and zipped it closed. I sat down on the bed and listened to the city sounds that seemed to drone on forever.

I've been living in Miami for a little over three years since I moved back to America. I had just come back four months ago from Afghanistan after my third tour, and now I was about to leave again. It freaked me out if I was being honest with myself, but I wasn't. I felt my heart beat hard against the constricting muscle and bone of my chest. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down and steal my nerves telling myself that I was okay, that everything was going to be okay and that I was safe. My therapist would be proud of the progress I have made.

Just as I released the air in my lungs my phone rang causing me to jump in surprise. I picked it up off my nightstand and sighed at the caller ID. I let it ring a few more times before feeling bad and answered it. "Hola Madre." I greeted my mother. This was the fifth time she had called me today. "Hola el carino. How are you?" She asked. "I am

well." "Well okay. I'm making cookies and wanted to know if you are going to come over before you leave and have tea." I laughed at her newest attempt at trying to delay me here for a few more minutes. "Ma using my favorite snack to get me to stay won't work," I told her laughing. I moved to the wall-length windows and looked out at the bustling city. "Are you sure Amor? The chips are still melting on them." I could hear the smile in her voice.

I moaned inwardly at the idea of freshly baked cookies. I could practically taste them. "I'm sure," I told her when all I wanted to do was drive over there and start eating the hell out of those homemade treats. "You know, I'm sure we could find a nice quiet place here, closer to home. I'm sure your uncle would know someone with a place." I rolled my eyes at her words. "No ma. I have to do this. It will be good for me to get away from everything. I promise I'll come home and visit but it won't be for a while." "I know Amor I just wish you could tell me why you are going. But I understand. You have always needed privacy and to be by yourself. Even when you were younger you were good at keeping secrets. You can go." she conceded. "Gracias," I said sarcastically. "My pleasure. Can you at least tell me more about this place?" "They have a no-crime policy so it's completely safe there and they are not known for any natural disasters or anything," I said trying my best to reassure her.

I looked away from the constant flow of cars and people and down at my watch. "Shit!" "Language Kira" my mother scolded. I cringed at her tone. "Lo siento. I have to get going ma I'm running late. I'll call you once I've landed okay? Te amo." "Yo tambien te amo Kira." "Tell Marcus and David that I love them." "Will do. But you know that you could always tell them yourself. Why don't you give your brother a call before you take off? You know he loves hearing from you." "Yeah, I know. I will when I reach the airport and check in. I have to go. I'll call tomorrow okay." "Yes yes bye love. Talk tomorrow. Have a safe flight." I ended the call smiling at my mother's constant attempts and guilt-tripping tricks at getting me to stay.

I looked around the spacious apartment. Most of my belonging had already been boxed and shipped to my new house. All it held were memories now however few there are. It's hard to leave somewhere you have become accustomed to and comfortable in. I would miss it, not just the cozy space but the people I knew here, the ones I had grown to love, but they too were few.

I felt bad about leaving but I couldn't afford to focus on that right now. My mother had been like this for a while now since I shipped out, clingy. Always wanting me close, keeping me talking, checking up on me. And it just seemed to have escalated since I've been back. I'm scared that my leaving again will break her even though it is not on another tour. I just hope that Marcus would know what to do when that happens.