Keeping Secrets

Chapter Twenty-Two May's Pages

"But all I heard was nothing."

This past month and a half have been hell without Kira. I thought it was hard to even picture my life without her but living that thought... it was a feeling I couldn't put into words. It was like a part of me was missing, as if my heart had been shattered into a thousand pieces and those pieces got lost along the way. A broken part of what once used to be whole.

I had no motivation for anything anymore. I live my days on autopilot, go to work and come back home. Some days I didn't even know where I was or how I got there. My friends noticed quickly but they never asked about it, they somehow knew what had happened, and knew that I just needed space and time to myself.

I know, deep down, that I deserve this for what I had done to Kira. And that the pain and crushing heartbreak that I was feeling was well deserved. However, knowing it and accepting it were two different things entirely and I was not ready to accept that Kira was no longer going to be a part of my life, my future.

The gears in my head started spinning. I needed to get her back and I needed to do that now. My heart screamed at me to rush to her house and beg her to take me back, for her forgiveness, for a second chance at the possibility of us again. But it was my head that I had to listen to this time.

I jumped onto the sofa, giddy at the thought that I might just have a chance. I grabbed my laptop off the coffee table and opened up a search tab. I typed in Owen Summers, opening up old service records and trying to locate a contact number or a recent address. "Bingo!" I shouted to no one in particular. I opened the web address that took me to a Facebook page. There were all the details that I needed. I grabbed the notebook on the table and a pen and scribbled down his updated address and phone number. I have never been so thankful for Facebook as I was right now.

I typed in the number on my phone and hit call. It didn't ring long, apparently, Owen was one of those people who always answered their phone even when it was a stranger calling. "Hello?" "Hi, is this Owen Summers?" "Yes, it is. Whom am I speaking to?" "Sorry, I'm May, May Haze. I'm not sure if Kira ever mentioned me?" "Oh, I know all about you. What can I help you with?" "I need your help, please. I need her back. I know I deserve to never be with her but my life is hell without her and I just... I really need her in it." "What can I do to help?"

It took an hour to drive all the way to Owen's house. He lived past the mainland on a ten-acre farm. I guess it was the kind of solitude he was after when he retired. Owen was waiting on the porch that seemed to wrap around the whole house. The house itself was big, grand, and beautiful in a rustic countryside way. I pulled to a stop behind what I assumed to be his car and got out.

Owen walked down the porch steps and met me halfway. "Owen?" "Yes, May?" "Yes." "It's a pleasure to meet you, perhaps not under these circumstances." He said, sticking out his hand. I shook it, "Likewise." He smiled which didn't seem forced. I don't think he ever forced anything; everything seemed to come naturally to Owen. I knew instantly that he was a man that was and still is respected even among strangers.

He led the way around the porch to the backside of the house and motioned for me to take a seat on one of the many chairs that decorated the back. I could tell that he took pride in the life he had built here and I could understand why. "So would you like a cup of coffee or anything?" "Coffee would be perfect thank you." "Catherin?!" Owen called out towards the open back door. A few seconds later a beautiful woman came through the open glass double doors, "Yes dear?" she asked coming to a stop beside her husband.

Catherin was beautiful in an elfish way, she had light sandy brown hair and light blue eyes which matched perfectly with her simple clear facial features. She was quite slender, not toned like Kira was. "Darling this is May." Owen introduced. "Hi there, it's a pleasure to meet you May, you can just call me Cathy." She said smiling warmly. "Hi Cathy, the pleasure is all mine." You could just tell without any prior knowledge that they were in love and had been for years. I envied them. I wanted what they had, a kind of love that would last forever and I wanted that with Kira.

"What was it that you wanted dear?" Cathy asked her husband. "Could you please make coffee for May and me?" "Of course my love." "Thank you, baby." He said smiling as she leaned down and kissed him before walking back inside. "How long have you two been married?" I asked him. "It will be seven years next month." "Thanksgiving?" "Yes, we got married before I was due to ship off for my first tour. It was right after I had completed my military training. I proposed to her before I signed up. I so badly wanted to call her my wife; I couldn't bear the thought of not being married to the most beautiful girl in my world. She was my good luck charm; I kept her picture with me wherever I went. I believe she had saved my life more than once."

"Wow." That was all I could say just as Cathy walked out of the house with a tray in her hands. "Is he telling you all his war stories?" she asked laughing lightly. "Just about us my love." He said endearingly. She placed the tray on the coffee table before taking a seat next to her husband, by his side till the end. I picked up a mug of hot coffee and took a small sip as Owen and Cathy did the same.

Owen relaxed back in his chair and looked at me for a beat before asking, "So what can I help you with May?" I put my steaming cup down and took a deep breath trying to gather my thoughts. "I need to get Kira back; whatever it takes I am willing to do it. I need her in my life. I know it sounds selfish but I can't live without her." I rambled on. "You have put me in a hard place. I know what you have done to Kira, to us all. But I'm willing to forgive you and overlook that mistake. You see Kira can get blinded by her emotions and the ability she has to turn them off. It was what made her such a good soldier. But I have known Kira for years, better than she knows herself sometimes. And I also know that you can be good for her. So I will help you. I believe you two are meant for each other."

I breathed a sigh of relief at his words. "Thank you so much, Owen." He raised his hand to stop me. "Don't thank me just yet. As much as I can help, it can only go so far. It is up to Kira whether she wants to take you back or not. You will have to leave that decision up to her or you will lose her altogether." "Okay fair enough. So what do I need to do?" I asked bracing myself. "I know that she is going to her parents for Thanksgiving and staying till after Christmas. I can give you their address and numbers so that you can ask if you can go over there and win her heart." My heart started racing at the possibility of actually getting her back. But as much as I loved to follow my heart's desires I had to, yet again, listen to my head.

"Okay. Is there anything else I need to know?" I asked. "Yes, just one more thing. A question rather. What are your true intentions with Kira? I know that you love her otherwise you would not be here. But I need to know if you are willing to stick by her side through anything, no matter what she tries to throw at you." "To be honest Owen I have no idea what the future holds but I know that I want, need Kira to be a part of it. And if she would have me I would like to marry her. I can't picture my life without her."

He nodded his head and looked at his wife. "I know exactly how you feel." He said smiling as Cathy kissed him lightly. "I will send you all the info you will need." "Thank you I can't tell you how much I appreciate your help, Owen." "I truly hope you and Kira end up together. She might not know it yet but you are good for her. You two have a love that will stand the test of time and I hope for both of you that she comes to her senses." He said getting up.

I drained the rest of my coffee and stood up. Owen led me back to the front of the house, all the way to my car. "Good luck May." He said shaking my hand before I got into my car. It was another hour before I got home. Throughout the drive my mind wondered, the possibility of getting Kira back caused butterflies to flutter wildly within my stomach. My imagination took over every rational thought, picturing various ways I could convince her to forgive me and focus instead on the love between us.

I got out of my car as soon as I had parked it outside and made my way to the house in a daze. My mind was a million miles away and I was surprised I had managed to unlock the front door. I pushed it closed behind me, placing my keys in the ceramic bowl as I took out my phone. Owen had sent me the contact numbers as he had promised as well as various texts wishing me luck and to take it easy. I smiled at the texts; at least I had someone in my corner.

After everything that happened between Kira and me, Ryan had stopped talking to me. I understood why so I didn't hold it against him. At least Kira had someone who would always choose her side no matter what. It was hard to find someone like that in these times. I did miss talking to him. We clicked ever since that first night we met. I hope that if Kira decides to take me back it would bring with her the security and comfort I not only felt with her but with everyone in her life whom I have met so far.