im back

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*this message will appear in all my stories so sorry if u see this multiple times...for an abbreviated message of this, plz refer to the message board. this message will most likely be deleted within the month*

Everyone,

Hi. i guess i should start by apologizing for my unexplained, incredibly long absence. I know it's been over 2 years since i've done any kind of writing on here and that i've basically gone radio silent. For that, i'm incredibly sorry.

Back in 2021, i was having a hard time mentally and physically just keeping up with everything happening in my life but i wanted to push through trying to finish and update some of the stories i had promised. My university work required me to do a lot of writing, and i think because of it i was getting incredibly burnt out, without much inspiration or will to do any kind of writing (or anything really) in my free time. But i remained hopeful because of a new story i had been thinking about writing. It had mystery, adventure, action, it felt like a step-up from the cheesy y/a rom-coms i was used to writing (no shade to this genre i love reading and writing it). I was really excited about it and it motivated me to continue.

Around this time, the movie shang-chi was starting to get attention, and the trailers were starting to come out. As a big marvel fan of course i was excited and i liked using the ambiguity of the movie's trailers to come up w/ scenarios for how the hero's story would play out in the movie. Bc of this, i came up ideas that i thought would actually work for the plot of my new story. I didnt see the movie when it came out but waited for it on disney+. Bc school was hectic i actually didnt get around to watching it until january which was around the time 7Fates: Chakho also came out.

While this might all seem weirdly dumb and irrelevant to mention, i was disheartened by the fact that core elements of this movie and the webtoon felt too similar to the story i had been researching and writing for.

I had wanted the main character to come from a long line of skilled warriors, him training to be like them as a kid, before turning his back on that life to live a normal one. All the characters i had written had signature weapons that oddly enough matched many of the characters in 7Fates. For me, this became a tipping point.

For a year, i had barely been hanging onto this account by a thread. The passion and creativity that i'd felt while writing my stories was replaced with exhaustion and burnout from university, mentally i was not in a stable place, and my last hope for a unique story that i had spent a long time crafting was already written. I needed a break, and in order for me to truly hit refresh, i had to cut off any temptation i might've had. so i exited my account and didnt look back.

i should've said something before i left- for that i apologize- but it was a split decision, and i think it was the right choice.

But here i am now after 2 years, because while i don't think im at 100%, i want to give this another try.

Im blown away that were almost at 1k followers. Thats insane to me and im so incredibly grateful that even though i was silent for so long many of you still believe in me.

As for an update on the stories i've written:

For kiddo / kiddo 2.0: ive come to the executive decision that kiddo will be the sole copy of the story. This idea has been weighing on me for many years, even before i published kiddo 2.0, but i think its the right decision. All edits and updates from 2.0 will be transferred to kiddo, and the story will be re-written. This does NOT mean i'm changing the plot, merely updating/editing mistakes. In order to come to an accurate conclusion in my decision, i recently re-read the story and think that while i am proud of it, there are parts that i think need to be cleaned up and as someone who has matured even in these last 2 years, there are stances i held back then i no longer agree with and i want my writing to reflect this. Im sorry if this makes u upset, but im starting to realize that while i write these stories for u guys as readers to enjoy, its a reflection of me and i want to put my best self forward. For those of you who still want to revisit the older versions, i will not touch the one on ao3.

For hackers: there will be updates, i just dont know when. its a story based on a television show, so i have to rewatch episodes while writing the chapters. It doesn't sound difficult, but its definitely more labour intensive than expected. im already working on the next episode

For celebrity crush: its almost done i swear, the second to last chapter has been written mostly, i wanted to get the ending finished before publishing though.

For pseudonym: im putting this on a hiatus. I apologize for those of u who are waiting for this story, i will try to revisit it in time, its just i don't want ppl to be waiting for this when im unclear of when or even if i want to pick the story back up.

For the guardians (the new story i had planned): ik i mainly write namjin, but ive been debating about if i want to make this a bxb focused story at all. i think it will be nice to have a story where i can focus on the plot and characters rather than the romance aspect of it (although I'll probably still have some form of it in the work). I will be writing this, it may take time to come to a definite decision, but im hoping planning for it will inspire me to continue writing.

For anyone who has questions or comments, plz feel free to lmk i owe u guys that much. You can ask them here or dm me whatever works for u.

Even though i say im back, please just know that i don't think my updates will be frequent or scheduled. I may update something frequently for a month and then nothing else for many. Im in my third year of university, and much of my time is consumed with thoughts about internships, jobs, really what my life will look like moving forward, so my focus wont be on writing the way it used to be.

Once again i apologize for disappearing without a trace, but as always, im so incredibly appreciative for all those who stood by and supported me.

I hope to hear from you guys again soon as we move forward together into this new chapter. Thank you again.

With much love,

em 💜

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⏰ Last updated: Jan 01, 2023 ⏰

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