Casual Affair

One

Flashback

United States Naval Academy
Annapolis, MD

When Taylor Swift said she was feeling twenty two, did that feeling include the feeling of existential dread? It had been two weeks since I had graduated from the Naval Academy and six days until I was going to be sent through preflight indoctrination and the word nervous hadn't even begun to cover how I truly felt.

It was also my twenty second birthday which didn't help the feeling that I didn't know what I was doing with my life.

Surrounded by my closest friends, I sat and waited for the person that I had considered to be my most important guest for my birthday dinner, my boyfriend of two years- Bradley Bradshaw.

"You guys can go ahead and order," I said softly as the pads of my fingertips tapped the maroon table cloth. "I'll wait for Brad."

As I waited, I thought back to our plebe summer and he had been the oldest in our class. I was newly eighteen and he was about to turn twenty two. The first two years of school, we were nearly inseparable and were instant best friends. It wasn't uncommon for people to assume we had been dating with how often we were seen together or how we were freakishly good at finishing one another's thoughts and sentences.

Both wanting to be the best in our class, we were always studying or in the library and one evening, we had both been searching for the same book and I had gotten to it first. Rather than let me have it, he dangled it high above me and I jumped for it but was too short to reach.

"C'mon, Bradley," I whined. "It's getting late and I need to finish my paper."

"It's yours on one condition," he replied with a smirk on his lips, his eyes on me as he towered over my five foot three frame.

"No, I won't write yours too," I sighed with a frown.

"No," he huffed. "You know I'd never ask you to do something like that."

"Then what? Tick tock," I teased as I playfully tapped my wrist before crossing my arms over my chest.

"Kiss me."

My heart began to race at his words. It was no secret to my closest group of friends that over the two years of friendship that Bradley and I had shared, I had begun to harbor a crush on him but I never would have admitted it to myself, much less him.

"What?" I asked as my heart beat even faster at the idea of getting to kiss Bradley Bradshaw.

"Nevermind," he chuckled as he handed me the book, clearly trying to mask his disappointment as he began to walk back to the table we had been studying at.

"Wait," I whispered as I grabbed his hand, pulling him back to me.

I sucked in a breath as I stood on my tiptoes and pulled Bradley closer by the collar of his uniform. In that time, he had my back pressed against the bookshelves that we had been arguing over the book just moments before.

"I knew it," he teased as we both caught our breath, his forehead pressing against mine as his nose grazed against my own.

"Knew what?"

"I knew it wasn't just in my head- how you felt, I mean," he chuckled.

"I'd like to think that I hid it pretty well," I replied as I picked up a pile of books that fell to the floor when Bradley pressed me against the shelves.

"Ry?"

I snapped out of my thoughts as I turned to my good friend and collegiate roommate Callie Bassett, an aspiring weapons systems officer.

"Hmm?" I hummed.

"I just saw Bradley walking in."

I sat up and smoothed out the fabric of the red dress that I had been wearing to celebrate my special day. As Bradley walked in, almost an hour late, most of my friends had already eaten but I was still waiting.

"Hey, Ry," Bradley said as he walked over to me and squatted down beside me. "Sorry I'm late. Can we talk really quickly? In private?"

I opened my mouth to reply but nothing came out. Historically, nothing good ever followed those words and here Bradley was, saying them to me on what should have otherwise been a great night.

"Sure," I managed to mutter as I stood up and followed him outside of the restaurant and around the corner from the front doors. "What is it?"

"First off, I'm sorry I'm late. I got tied up doing some research and lost track of time."

My brows pulled together, as I could tell that there was more to the story than him just getting tied up. He was extremely punctual and being almost an hour late to his longtime girlfriends birthday dinner was extremely uncharacteristic of him.

"That's not it, is it?" I questioned, the rise and fall of my chest quickening as my nerves kicked in.

"No," he replied before awkwardly clearing his throat, a crease forming between his eyes as he tried to find the words he had been wanting to say.

Though it had taken me a moment, I had figured out what was happening and I fought back the tears that had threatened to spill from my eyes.

"You're doing this now? On my birthday?"

"Ryder," he sighed. "I'm so sorry. I didn't plan to do it tonight or like this. You deserve so much better than this."

"I thought everything was fine?" I questioned.

"We got different placements," he replied. "We knew that could happen."

"But I didn't realize we'd break up over it," I replied, my voice shaky as I continued to fight my tears.

"I don't want to do this," he sighed and stepped towards me, pulling me into his warm embrace.

I understood where Bradley was coming from and now I wished I had stopped to have the conversation that he had tried to have so many times before about our different placements.

Breakups sucked and something about this one had stung even more than the normal breakup. Maybe it was the fact that Bradley had been my first everything and I was deeply in love with him. Even in a moment where it was hard to be logical, it was plain to see that long distance as two aspiring naval aviators wouldn't have been easy.

"I understand," I said almost inaudibly, the tears falling from my eyes.

"I don't want to lose the friendship we have."

He was right. Our friendship had been unique to the other friendships that we had made at the academy. Maybe it was our similar, tragic backstories or the way we had both had a Marvel obsession that cured us anytime we were sick or upset.

"Then we can try to be friends if that's okay," I muttered as he placed a long kiss on my forehead.

If this was twenty two, Taylor Swift had some explaining to do.

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I hope the flashback inside of a flashback wasn't too confusing!!