"Selena..."
I stirred in my restless sleep
"Baby girl..."
I opened my eyes and seen my mother standing over me.
"Mama!" I sit up quickly tears starting to fall already.
"H-how are you here?" I grabbed onto her pulling her close to me.
"Shhh I love you baby" she started to rub my head gently and she kissed my head.
I smiled and breathed in her signature perfume. Something wet dripped down my head and I looked up confused.
My eyes widened in terror at the site I saw. My mom had blood running down her face with her neck slit deeply. She smiled at me then her mouth moved like she was talking but it was inaudible.
Her smile slowly grew wider and wider while her eyebrows pushed down into a creepy angry expression.
I turned to run but my legs moved slowly my tears fell rapidly.
"Join mommy!" A voice said but it wasn't my moms voice.
"Join daddy!" The voice said again.
"Leave me alone!" I screamed
When I turned around I saw him...
I sat up in my bed breathing heavily with my body full of sweat. I hated waking up to these dreams they made me feel more depressed than I already am.
I pulled the blanket up to my chin as I rocked back and forth. I felt so alone in the world, I had nobody.
I walked into the bathroom and looked for pills like I've done so many times before and found none like all the other times.
My foster mom knows better than to leave me with anything I'll use to harm myself with.
I began to get frustrated, why won't they just let me go die somewhere! No one will miss me I'm just a waste of space, a waste of a life.
I looked at the time and it was only 3am. There was no way I was going back to sleep after that dream. for the rest of the night I just laid in bed staring at the ceiling and wondering what life would have been like if I would have still had my mom and dad.
I didn't realize hours had gone by until my foster mom came in to wake me but I was already up.
"Hey sweetheart I didn't know you were already up, I made breakfast for you downstairs"
"I'm not hungry" I simply stated
"Sel honey please eat, you rarely do that" she looked at me with sad eyes.
"Fine.." I sighed. I always give them a hard time and I feel bad. If I wasn't here life would be easier for them.
"Thanks baby girl, now get dressed and meet me downstairs, love you" she blew a kiss to me and walked out.
How could she possibly love me? No one loves me and I'm convinced of that.
After I was ready I walked down and sat at the table. I basically forced the food down my mouth but I'm not gonna lie it felt good getting something in my belly.
"Selena, I won't be able to pick you up after school I work late and so does John" she was referring to my foster dad. She knows I'm still uncomfortable with the terms mom and dad.
"Ok that's fine I'll take the bus or something" I shrugged
"Ok I'm sorry hun"
"It's fine really"
"Are you almost ready?"
"Yeah" I took my final bite then took my plate to the sink washing it out.
