Darkside - A Dreamnoblade Story

Chapter 35 ~ This is my life

TW: Death, swearing, weapons, suicidal thoughts, panic attack, blood, violence, gory descriptions, mention of torture, mention of murder

(A/N: Just if you're confused, this chapters continues from when Techno was on Schlatt's shoulder from the beginning of last chapter. This isn't years later or anything like that.)

Techno's POV:

The world is spinning. The world is upside down. The world is right side up. Am I alive? I don't feel alive. I can't feel anything at all.

 I didn't have a reason to live before any of this. Just going through the motions of the thing we call life. Then I met Dream. Then I had something to live for. Then I had something to fight for. Then I had someone to love.

But just as anything else in this cruel world I call home, nothing lasts. Now he's gone. The sole reason I had for existing. Now there is nothing. Our love has been shattered by the cruel blade of a spear. Just one spear tore apart the tightly wound relationship we had. One fucking spear tore apart my whole life.

Now what's to live for? I am nothing without Dream by my side. This is why I let Schlatt take me away. Right back to the place I so desperately wanted to run from. I'm back to square one. Hopeless, controlled, no escape, no friends, no hope.

Maybe I should just die. Right here on Schlatt's shoulder, before he throws me back into a life I don't want. That sounds nice and I'm quite lightheaded actually. Maybe if I just close my eyes. I'm tired.

I need some sleep. Maybe I'll never wake up

-

I woke up

Did I have to wake up?

I take in my surroundings and I'm in a simple jail cell. Nothing fancy like in the sector house so I can assume I'm back at the Pit. Schlatt probably wants me back to fighting as soon as possible, how horrible. I'm pretty certain that the tournament is already over and it's back to the routine fights that occur every week. Yayyy, I get to fight again. I don't want to.

Outside the steel bars I see many guards. They were staring at me like if they took their eyes off for one second I would magically disappear. I counted at least 35 which means Schlatt cares enough to make sure I don't escape which is very twisted if you ask me. But he doesn't need to worry, I won't be getting out anytime soon. I don't think I can.

Well, it's not like I can't, I could totally break out right now if I wanted to because I know Schlatt won't kill me. But honestly, I don't want to get out because I deserve this for all the people I've hurt. Killed even. I've never liked killing people or violence in general, that's more the job of the voices. They do violence, not me.

I secondth that

I thirdth that

I fourththhh that

You guys are idiots. That's not how words work

I chuckle to myself. At least they're still here after everyone else left, I guess that's positive. Will I ever be free again? More importantly, do I even want to be free again? I.....I don't know.

I feel tears building in the corner of my eyes and I frantically look around for support, but I know I won't find any. My breathing picks up slightly, is there even a purpose to my life? Am I just living now to hurt others? Should I go on?