Never Ending

~19~

The sun flits through the curtains and finds me wide awake. I take a shower and leave the house. Gianna greets me with a smile. Light blue flannel dress, white stockings, a pink knitted beanie; she looks delectably very cute. She has lost two front teeth since the last time we met. "Tara." She screams when I walk in.

I bundle her up in a hug. I missed her so much. She feels heavier in my arms. Her cheeks are rounder, with a healthy glow to them. I am overjoyed to see her doing well. "How are you, darling?" I ask with a sob in my throat despite myself.

"I am getting better."

I am desperate for her to be okay. A nurse brings in her breakfast. We have a meal together and watch an animated series. After an hour spent like this, Meredith enters. I am puzzled by her wary expression.

"I heard you were here. It's been quite a while." She hugs me. "Gianna has been talking about you a lot." Gianna avoids my eye.

"Really?" I pinch her little cheeks and she giggles. I pull her close to me. Gianna returns to watching her cartoons.

Meredith hesitates as she stands there She nods her head and looks at me. I am puzzled by what is going on. She walks to Gianna's side and calls for her attention. After saying something to her, all hell breaks loose.

As though gripped by a convulsion, Gianna falls to the ground screaming, "I hate you. I don't want to go there." In shock, I rush forward to help her, but Meredith stops me. Her eyes have changed into something unfriendly. She doesn't look like the woman I knew. "Tara, please don't let her do this to me. I am okay, I am healthy now." Tears stream down her face.

I turn to Meredith sternly. "What is she talking about?"

"She has refused treatment." She blurts out. "Her last term of chemo is coming up and she hasn't been cooperating a lot anymore."

"But she is getting better isn't she? She even gained weight." I state defensively.

"She did but she has to take the chemo regardless. It's our only way to make sure she survives this. I can't let anything happen to her." Her sincerity changes my mind. Meredith would never do something to harm Gianna.

I return to Gianna's side. "It's okay. They won't hurt you." She looks up, her face ashen with tear lines. "Mere is only doing this so you can go home, and leave the hospital forever."

Her eyes perk up, "Forever?"

"Yes, forever." I answer resolutely.

"And go to school?" I nod. "I can go to the Museum too?" I nod again. She wipes her face and gets up. She holds out her hand to me, "Can you go with me?" Meredith nods in approval. I clutch that little hand and lead her to the chemo room.

I hold her hand as Mere injects the syringe into her arm. Gianna doesn't even flinch. Instead, she holds out her hand to me. I clasp her small hand in mine and stroke her head.

We sit in silence for a while, I think she fell asleep. I pick a blanket from the drawer and cover her with it. I get up to leave.

I hear the bedsheets rustle. Gianna is sitting up looking at me. In a small voice she asks, "Will I see my parents when I get better?"

The question catches me off guard. I sit back down. Gianna rarely ever talks about her parents. "You'll see them. I promise you." I reply while looking away. My mother would have known what to say to her.

Gianna smiles and lies back down.

Her eyes start to close as she lies down. I squeeze her small hand. Eventually she falls asleep. I leave the hospital with my heart shaken.