Never Ending

~22~

Carter's POV

Instinctively, my hands go to her hair patting it. She silently holds onto me for sometime before sitting up and finally looking me dead in the eyes. She looks every bit exhausted and more miserable than I have seen her yet. "Do you know, they demoted me at work because of that day." She reveals yet another thing I didn't know. Her secrets are like a flood gate that has been infiltrated, once one is out, everything else tumbles out too.

Tara doesn't say anything else, she returns her head where it had been resting. I could get used to this. Her warm breath caresses a soft spot on my neck arousing sensations.

I shift uncomfortably, willing my body not to react. Slowly, Tara's hands slide to my chest and she looks up at me. Her gaze flick between mine and down towards my lips. She doesn't hesitate a second but sits up and plants her lips onto mine. I respond immediately. In sync, our lips move against each other deepening the kiss until we both get lost into each other. O, In sync, our lips move against each other. I lose sense of time and space until I can only see her, feel her soft skin under the thin fabric of her pajamas, and her fresh fruity scent engulfing me whole. We part for air, our breaths short and frantic.

I get up and take her with me. I pad through the house impatiently, wondering why the house has so many walls. I lay her on the bed gently. She pulls me along with her. I come close to falling onto her only recovering and balancing my weight on my forearms, such a position leaves so little distance between us.

She hoists her head up and holds me captive between her teeth, pulling me to her. I oblige. Soon enough we are tangled up, albeit fully clothed. I clasp the hem of her t-shirt and pull it over her head. Underneath, she is wearing a lacy bralette on her full mounds. I peel off my shirt and toss it on the floor somewhere. I'll have to find it later, now I am only seeking Tara.

Right on the edge, when we are both groping for more, my phone pings with a message. Reality comes rushing back to me. I get up quickly and grab my phone as a guise to hide my guilt. I never meant to rekindle the I felt for her.

I open my phone and, coincidence or not, the message is from August. 'Don't get too close.' It reads.

I feel my face heat up. Talk about bad timing. I stay away from my room stewing in self reproach until I am sure that she is fast asleep. I spy her sleeping peacefully in the middle of the bed cuddling my pillow, her face the epitome of calm and serenity despite the turbulent life she leads. I enter cautiously and cross the room to the walk-in closet, lined with many expensive suits. I opt for a simple pair of sport shorts and t-shirt that I bought back in college. I put on a pair of well worn New Balance sneakers and step out for a jog to clear my head.

Outside it is raining. The heavy droplets don't deter me. I start jogging steadily. The rain cools my skin, muffling my pounding footsteps. As I pick up pace, my mind is on a race of its own, but among the thoughts hounding me the most, I can't help but feel perturbed by the fact that I don't regret kissing Tara back, nor wanting to take things further. August won't be pleased to learn that not only am I sexually attracted to her, but my feelings for her are slowly rekindling.

The light rain turns into a torrential downpour. I am already soaked through. My shirt and shorts sticking onto my body like glue. I happen upon a covered bus stop and take refuge. This late in the night, I am alone with my thoughts to keep me company.

My mind tracks back to the last time I saw my father alive. Well, not technically dead but, vivacious and full of life. He was a husk in his last days, I prefer to think he was already dead by then. It was no normal day, for one my mother had woken up in a mood and she and dad weren't on speaking terms. I remember feeling like it was the calm before the storm, and sadly the storm did come. He came in the latest model GWagon of the time.. His daughter was behind him, her tear streaked face trying to hide behind a mop of hair.

Something was off. My father welcomed the guests cautiously. He sent me off with the girl but she refused to play with me. Worry assuaged me, I had no though to be angry and throw a tantrum. I tried everything to gain her good grace again but nothing worked, I even bribed her with my prized walkman but she refused. In a huff, I came down stairs and met the men as they exited my father's study.

It was the most ashen I had seen my father. His complexion had blanched and his eyes were shifting here and there like he could see something we weren't. I was worried but not worried enough to ask what had happened. I attacked him with complaints about the girl, causing a fuss. Instead of responding he pushed me aside. The girl walked out and started to cry upon seeing her father.

It was then I turned to him and noticed the sly grin on his face. In his prideful gait he lorded over my father nad I thought my father looked so small and helpless. That was a devastating thought for me, as I had thought my father invincible. I saw paper signed, before my eyes and I did not comprehend that that was how my father was forcibly deprived of his entire fortune.

Instead of saying everything was alright like he usually did, he looked away. He never looked me straight in the eyes ever since, not even on his deathbed.

I often wonder why Tara was crying that day. She was standing to gain everything from it, and besides we were not friends enough to feel affected by each other's situation. I wouldn't have cried for her if I was in her shoes.

The rain reduces to a drizzle. I get up, suddenly conscious of the cold night air. I get up and jog back to the apartment. I hop into the shower the moment I reach home, welcoming the hot water onto my frigid skin. I close the water after I have washed my entire body and get into a cozy pair of jogger pants and a graphic t-shirt.

I approach the bed carefully so as not to wake Tara up. I have no desire to explain where I was, so I slide into the sheets in one swift move. Tara turns in her sleep. I stop in my tracks and wait for her to go back to sleep before sinking into the mattress and falling asleep myself.

As I fall asleep I resolve to distance myself from her, as they say 'Distance brings distaste.' Maybe nobody says that, but still I have to kill the feeling while they are still infinitesimal.