A/n: This was gonna be a one-shot but then it ended up being 15k words so I broke it into two parts lol I'll post part two tomorrow!! It's fully written and edited!! This is also a scene in my series that I'm writing for Gar but I really liked it and decided to change a whole lot of stuff and make a it two-shot for Jason lol
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Titans tower hasn't been kind to Jason, you can see it with every passing day. At first, he was mostly just sucking it up, figured he'd be here for a month and Dick would send him back to Bruce because he'd have proven himself ready to be Robin again. But it's been three months and Dick still won't level with Jason even for a second. But now, it's like he trains a little too hard, he dodges food, barely sleeps. It's like it's tearing him a part.
So, you shouldn't have been surprised when Jason and Gar used the super computer to try to find Dr. Light. Both boys want to prove themselves to the older Titans and Gar figured finding Dr. Light would be plenty good enough. Not Jason though. He argued that the three of you could go find him and just make sure you're all right so you don't look like assholes. You could call Dick right after. He swore it to you.
You can see the desperation in his face. The way his forehead wrinkles and his brows twitch up. It's the way his his voice nearly goes up an octave, almost begging the two of you to go. Jason isn't stupid but he's impulsive. You love that about him but you also hate it, too because it makes him unsafe sometimes. The idea of something horrible happening to him and you not being there, makes you want to crumble into the floor beneath your feet. He's going to go regardless of what you and Gar say..
If he weren't so desperate, he would realize how bad of an idea this sounds. How the older Titans being worried about Dr. Light should be sending a giant flashing red flag in his face. But this is his chance and the one thing he knows he's good at is being Robin. It's the one thing that makes him feel whole, like himself. Being behind a mask and kicking ass makes him happy because he doesn't have to put on a fake face for anyone. He can be whoever the fuck he wants behind that mask and he is so desperate for that again. And Gar can see it, too, almost convinced that if the two of you are there, Jason's odds of getting himself killed go down significantly. So, he agrees, too and three of you head to the tunnels.
The thing about being anything with Jason, friends, lovers, friends with benefits, anything, is that you all know something bad is going to happen. He's hot headed, stubborn as a pack mule, fueled by vengeance, and he has a desperate need to be loved and feel worthy. That's a combination that you just know is going to get him seriously injured or worse. It's great having him but a part of you lives in fear for the mission that takes him from you.
No matter how hard you try to be there for him and show him that someone cares about him, it's always like it's not enough because you're not his parents or Bruce or Dick. You are his friend that worries about him every single day. If it's not the fear you'll have a mission one day to go on, it's the not eating and too much exercise. It's a matter of time before he runs himself right into the ground. And you get sucked into that fear when Jason says you should split up, almost demanding you go with Gar but you won't budge. The universe is going to have pull Jason from your cold dead hands if that's what it wants to do.
