Judgment Day

Chapter 7 - The Council

Author's Note: Are things getting worse? Absolutely. Will they get better soon? Eh... depends on your definition of better. :):):)

~ Amina Gila

The Council is unhappy by the turn of events, which Anakin understands. He does. It's not something that's ever happened before, and he's confused by it himself. Still, this is a precarious situation, so he can understand the Chancellor's reasoning. He doesn't trust the Council to make the right choices.

"You are on this Council," Master Windu declares, "But we do not grant you the rank of master."

"What?!" The hurt hits him first, then confusion. He's always been kept apart from everyone else, has always been different for some inexplicable reason, but he never would have expected something of this nature. He doesn't understand. "How can you do this?" he demands. He knows his hurt is slipping into his voice, but he finds he doesn't care. Some things hurt too much, and he's tired of being treated like he's something lesser. It's not his place to question the Council but it doesn't make sense. "This is outrageous. It's unfair. How can you be on the Council and not be a master?"

"Take a seat, young Skywalker," Windu replies icily, gesturing to the only open seat.

They don't so much as grace him with an explanation. Clearly, the fact that he's on the Council doesn't mean they think any more of him than they ever have, and it hurts. He can feel Obi-Wan's disappointment, and it makes him want to cry. He was only asking for an explanation, but apparently, that's out of place, too. "Forgive me, Master," he mumbles, bowing. It's automatic. It always has been.

It fills him with bitterness the way it always does, but it's worse now. He doesn't understand it. Why is everything so much different for him? He's never been considered one of the Jedi, though he tries his hardest to be accepted. What more could they ask him for? He feels alone as he always has, and he loathes it. Not even Obi-Wan stands with him now – though then again, he never has.

He wishes Luke were here. He... oh. Is that it? That they're intentionally keeping him lower than them because of Luke? He doesn't want to believe that everything in this time is going wrong because of the time-travel but seeing as he was the one who sent Luke back in time, it might not be surprising.

Anakin hates this entire situation. He feels as small and worthless now as he always has. It really feels like he deserves it, but he thought the Jedi were... no. That's not true. They are good. It's not their fault he'll never be good enough.

That doesn't stop his anger from growing. He's quiet nearly the entire time, and no one so much as glances at him, except Obi-Wan. Anakin can't bring himself to return those looks – doesn't want to see the disappointment he can sense so clearly in the Force.

That doesn't stop him from rounding on Obi-Wan the moment they're out of the Council chambers and alone together. He should calm down. He knows that, but what's the point if he won't stay a Jedi, anyway? If he can never live up to what they want him to be, why should he keep trying? What good will it do? "What kind of nonsense is this?" Anakin demands furiously. "Put me on the Council and not make me a Master? It's never been done in the history of the Jedi. It's insulting."

"Calm down, Anakin," he admonishes, and if anything, it makes him even angrier. It's normal, though. Obi-Wan is never willing to let him speak his mind. He never lets Anakin talk about his emotions or opinions, which is why Anakin's closed himself off from everyone, save the Chancellor and now Luke. They're the only people who make him feel worth something. "You have been given a great honor. To be on the council at your age – it's never happened before."