Mike, seeing a banana on the car seat: What the FUCK??
Mike, buckling the banana up: Fucking buckle UP, it's the LAW!
Frank: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple...
Sky: I really care about your feelings!
Marcel: I really care about YOUR feelings!
*Frank turns his head*
Basil: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL!
Raymond: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED INSISTING ON FIGHTING EVERYONE WHO COMES WITHIN A FIVE FOOT RADIUS OF YOU!
Diane: I feel like the world would be better if I'd never been born.
Liz: Aw... that's not true.
Liz: It'd be exactly the same.
Liz: You're not important.
Dulquer: Hey, you want a tarot reading?
Hendrik: Those are Pokemon cards.
Dulquer: You got a magikarp.
Hendrik: ...
Dulquer: It means 'fuck you'.
Amy: Aria and I are so close we even share a toothbrush!
Aria: We what?
Lazi, holding in their laughter: Hey, how do you ask a glass of water what it's doing?
Earl: A glass of water is an inanimate object, it is incapable of having a thought process or understanding basic human language.
Lazi:
Lazi: Water you doing?
Sarah: Why is it that I always lose things as soon as I need them?
Vlad: It's actually not that you lose things when you need them. You lose them a while before. It's just that you LOOK for things when you need them.
Sarah: Okay yeah thanks that's great but WHERE'S THE FUCKING FIRST AID KIT?
Hendrik: Do you ever get pre-annoyed? Like you already know someone is going to piss you off?
September: What? No, I-
Dulquer: *enters room*
Hendrik: *jaw clenches*
*Comments under an image of a really hot knife cutting bread*
Sarah: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.
Amy: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful.
Vladimira: if you want information it is
Earl: WHY would you STAB a person when you can have toast??
Leon: Bryan has discovered "deez nuts" jokes and it's all he says now. Everything is deez nuts. He simply can't stop.
Leon: I asked Bryan where he learned that joke. He made me promise he wouldn't get in trouble if he told me. I agreed.
Leon: So he leans in and whispers, "deez nuts."
Anabelle, texting Cynthia: *sends a voice message*
Cynthia, texting back: I'm a little busy, is it urgent?
Anabelle: No, don't worry, just listen later.
*later*
Cynthia: *presses play*
Anabelle's voice message: THERE'S A FIRE-
Corn: Would it be discrimination to only hire employees at my donut shop who have the same name?
Mia: Legally, I don't believe that breaches any discrimination laws. Morally though... I don't know.
Corn: I believe god is on my side when it comes to Duncans' Donuts.
Cerena: Self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath or putting on a lot of make up if you like that, or taking a nice warm nap and stuff like that basically.
Cameron: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you. Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists. Self care is the fear in your enemies eyes.
Peyton: Self care is stealing someones birthday cake just to eat the frosting.
Corn: If you touch my birthday cake I'll make you eat your hands.
Autumn: Is it still visible? Where Diane slapped me?
Liz: Your face looks like a don't walk signal.
Mia: Your face looks like a photo negative for the hamburger helper box.
Nikki: A palm reader could tell Diane's future by looking at your face.
Bella: The phrase 'talk to the hand cause the face ain't listening' doesn't work for you, because the hand is your face.
Autumn: ...A simple 'yes' would've sufficed.
Peyton: So, Cornelius is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night.
Silo: Why?
Peyton: Because I've caught him trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.
Corn, arms crossed: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.
Earl: Did you ever have a pet run away and then end up finding it or anything?
Lazi: I had a lizard that I burnt.
Nelvin: Next time I'm at the pet store, I'm gonna take a hamster and drop it in the scorpion cage. I wanna see what a hamster's face looks like when it goes, "oh, fuck."
Edgar: *gets set on fire and screams in agony*
Edgar: Nah, I'm just kidding. Fire does nothing to me.
Vlad: Sometimes I like to place my hands on someone's cheeks, look into their eyes...
Vlad: ...And violently jerk their head until it snaps.
Sky: ...That took an unexpected turn.
Vlad: So did their neck.
Bella: Guess what number I'm thinking of.
Liz: 420?
Bella: No, that's really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously.
Diane: 69.
Bella: Yeah it was 69.
Chad: Do dragons fart fire?
Frank: I don't know.
Matt: I thought you went to college.
sometimes chad frank matt and steve seem to just merge into one person for me
