Finger Lickin' Good

If Only

He walked me home after I finished eating. This time only to my door and then we said our goodbyes. For some reason something in me switched and I've fallen into a funk. Maybe it's because I just had another Christmas without a family? Holidays are just a regular day for me. They always have been. I've never had a Christmas, New Years, Birthday, Valentines day, Halloween, Easter, etc. I have always been left to my own devices. All my parents did was enough for CPS and other people to not get suspicious. The only "present" I received was for my fifteenth birthday. They got me make up to hide their mistreatment of me. That's part of the reason I don't really wear make up now.

It's been almost a week since I last saw Sanders. He's texted me asking where I am and if I'm okay. I haven't even read the messages. It isn't safe for me to be friends with anyone let alone Sanders. If I know one thing about Sabian it's that he hates when I hang around dudes. Whether they are coworkers or friends or classmates. What's ironic is that Sabian wasn't always like this. He saved me from my parents. We moved away and he helped me get back on my feet. And that's how he trapped me. Slowly he started showing his true colors. At first he just became controlling and possessive. I wasn't allowed to have friends, or go to parties. I could only wear sweatpants, jeans, baggy t-shirts, and hoodies. Then he started yelling at me and playing mind games. If I called him out on his bullshit he would just gaslight me until I gave up. I was slowly getting weaker and weaker as time went on. After the mind games, he started restricting my food. Telling me that I'm too fat and I should be more mindful of my weight if I wanted him to love me. And me being the dumb girl I was listened to him. Since he didn't have to restrict anything because I did it myself he started getting physical. Forcing me to do things I didn't want to. Hitting me every time I made a mistake. Even if I just spilled a drop of water on the counter, or forgot to put a sock in the dirty laundry he would beat me. It was only after someone heard the commotion from when he came home from work particularly pissed off one day that I realized the danger I was in. I ran to the neighbors house when he went off to the bedroom to get something. The neighbors were shocked to see the state of me. Black and blue, blood running down my face, arms, and legs. They immediately went into action. Mrs. Cheri started taking pictures of my wounds as evidence, and Mr. Robert called the cops and gave the as much information as they had. I wasn't in a position to talk so they had to make due with what they saw and heard. One thing led to another and I woke up in the hospital with an officer asking me sign a restraining order and my neighbors beside my bed. The whole night after I went to their house for help is a blur really. Since then I've gotten into a good college and I'm relatively safe. I only went to therapy for about a year and stopped because my therapist moved and I didn't have the money for a new one. Now he's back and he's already found the area I reside. That guy Sanders and I passed on our way to my dorm when we first met was Eli. Eli is one of Sabian's best friends. He would assist with "keeping me in line" sometimes.

I was brought out of my thoughts when I heard a knock on my door. Not just any knock. It was a code. He found me. I get off of my couch quickly but quietly and get to my room without making a noise. If he hears any noise at all, that door is coming off its hinges. I frantically grab my phone and bury myself in my closet. The clothes and boxes should muffle enough sound to where he can't here me. I call the cops and text the neighbors that helped me. Hesitantly I also text Sanders. I know I haven't had contact with him but I trust him and he deserves to know why I've been quiet and how much I appreciate him.

Now that Sanders is caught up to speed with my unfortunate life, and Mrs. Cheri and Mr. Robert have been made aware he's back and that I love them and am so thankful for their help I can focus on the 911 operator and my ex. So far he has just been knocking on the door in the code he made when he kept me inside the house for months. This was prior to the incident leading to the restraining order. He made the code so that I wouldn't open the door for anyone other than him. Not even his bestfriend was allowed to know the code. The knocks were his name in Morse code:

... ._ _... .. ._ _.

I can hear him talking now. Eli is with him, but there's more than just two voices. Has he brought everyone? I wouldn't put it past him. You might be wondering why I seem so calm right now. Well Sabian isn't exactly the brightest too in the shed and decided to text me that he would show up sometime this week. So I cut off Sanders, and used all of my left over sick days and vacation days for work and made sure there were people to cover my shift. And I've been held up in my dorm all week. I have access to online versions of my classes so that's not a concern for me. Since I knew he would be showing up, I put mouse traps all over my dorm and a substance on my door knobs and surfaces to try to get his finger prints on at least something. I also added paint traps so If he managed to get away there would be a trail.

The 911 operator has had officers on the way for at least a minute and I'm beginning to hear sirens.

"Tell them to turn off their lights and sirens! It'll let him know I'm in here!" I frantically but quietly instructed her. They seem to have gotten the message because I can't hear sirens anymore. But I can hear my front door being rammed into. It might be too late.

"Miss, they're trying to break down my door. For legal purposes I am letting you know that I have set up a series of traps. They include mouse traps, a substance to get finger prints on my door knobs and surfaces, and paint traps to create a trail and identifying quality just in case he gets away." I let her know while I listen to them try to get the door open. I am as prepared as I can be this time. I won't go down without a fight. I cannot let him win this time.

Just then I hear someone yell and I quickly realize that Sanders has shown up. Wait Sanders is here? SABIAN WILL KILL HIM WHAT IS HE THINKING??!!