I think that most of my seniors have the same way of thinking. No, for real. Have you ever been judging yourself just because of the extra food or things that shouldn't be made? Right now I judge myself for eating an enormous piece of the cake and kinda pastry with egg. Omg, why can't I have more will? You know? My parents are so incomprehensible as fu$k. All day long my mom says that I'm anorexic and that I have to eat lots of disgusting dishes that I don't like. My dad laterally doesn't give a s*£t about me. That makes me sad. Everything that they can do is just JUDGING.
"You are skinny" - eat more.
"You are dispelled" - eat more.
"You are tired" - eat more.
"You're breathing" - eat more.
I want to be completely honest with you because I know that nobody's reading it. My periods stopped about half a year ago. It blew my mind when it stopped and the first thing that came to my thoughts was "WHAT IF IM PREGNANT?". Two day later I remembered that I don't have a boyfriend and this idea just seemed to me like a little joke. I read lots of forums and stuff (in case of being pregnant lmao). So everyone told me that periods will restart again and there's nothing to worry about, but they were wrong.
My health and body were actually well, I still get lots of workouts, try to eat healthy, but you know, my weigh started regaining. It made me cry for a month. I couldn't do anything to help myself. I tried not to eat all day long, but the only little drop of water could destroy everything. Now I weigh 50/51 kilos. Yeah, I know. You might consider "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL HAPPENED TO YOU, FATTY FAT?" and I'll reply "I literally don't have any idea"
Right now I'm laying on my bed and tapping on my screen that lights up my room (it's night by the way). Everyone in the house is sleeping while a teenager tries not to commit a suicide.
For some reasons I find this writing really helpful and probably it's going tone my sort of a blog? What do you think? What if nobody's reading this and I'm kinda forever alone that must talk to herself? Haha.
Good luck.
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Lifetime.
PoetryTo be honest, I bet my life that lots of girls want to look like Cara Delevingne, they wanna have skinny legs and this fucking gap between them. Have you ever had a dream of a perfect body? The body that wouldn't have any flaws and fats. Have you ev...
