Lifetime.

Idk what's going on.

My mind is changing and it very complicated to understand. I feel like my thoughts choose another way to think. I know that it sounds very strange but I can't find other ways to describe it.
I want to give a very important advice to all who is reading it right now. Never! NEVER! Never make yourself starve. Just don't. Why? I'll tell you my experience. As you read my previous parts you should know that I used to weigh about 64 kilos. For being 164 cm long child I was quite (okay, very) fat one. I was blind for a long period of time and one day when one boy, that I used to love, told me that he didn't want to hangout with me. That flipped my internal world upside down. Thanks God, he was polite and kinda gentleman so he didn't want to harm my soul and didn't tell me the truth that I was fat. But I made a decision that I must loose weight. That was hard for a first time. At the beginning I just started not to eat junk food and sodas, I started to eat healthy and take some workouts. For my happiness, I lost about 7/8 kilos just only by cutting back on meals. But it was just a beginning. Then I discovered to myself my new and irreplaceable friend "Tic Tac". (Please never make my mistakes)
Now I have about 125 packs of tic tac. When my mom found them, she was so anxious that you better not know. Anyway, I ate nothing but the Tic Tac for three long weeks. I lost another 10/11 kilos and got weight about 46/47 kilos. My happiness didn't have the edge. But it was for so long. Here comes my advice. Why should you never starve yourself? Because our organism doesn't understand that we want to loose excess weigh, it thinks that there's a war where is no food. At first it tries to save all the fats and muscles that you have. Then when it realize that food won't visit your stomach again, it starts to burn your muscles first. Only when theirs nothing left at all it burns fats. Okay, I felt fine after my Tic Tac diet. I thought that it will be a good idea to start some jogging in the morning. That was fine. I didn't have any fainting at all. My classmates made me compliments, asked me how I lost my weigh so fast, and you would laugh at their faces when they heard my story about Tic Tac weeks. Teachers started to notice my bones and called my mom. That was the end. My mother once saw me half naked and saw my spine, collarbones and it scared her so much that we argued. I lost my periods as you know from my last part. So I told my mother and she made a stupid decision that it's all because of the non eating meat. I don't like meat. Idk, just my body doesn't like it. My mom started to fill me with it. Now it's my worst nightmare. She doesn't get that it won't help. The eating normal food after starving made my body pout like a balloon. Weight has gained. And now I'm sorta sad about me. I let myself down.
So, I just don't want you to take my path. It will only disappoint you. Your body makes twice fatter than it was before starving. How to escape it? Eat. Not in that amounts that you did before but just less and healthier. Bring some fitness in your life. Find nutritionist and choose your right diet. It is the only correct way to be perfect.
Believe me. Now I took another path and I'm creating a new person to school, because I study in a school of fucking models, beauties and rich, cool kids. Yup, so I need to weigh 46 again. I'm 50-51 right now. 5 kilos till the first of September. Wish me luck and will.
I want to thank all of you who reads it. Thank you and take care.
P.S. It's my old photo as the example of my fat body. Peace.