delicate - jaylor fanfic - on hold because of the breakup

baby on the way

** Friday august 5th - five weeks pregnant **

- Taylors Pov -

Hanging over the toilet puking my guts out is so not glamorous and I've been doing it for the last two days. Why I don't know. At first, I thought I might have eaten something bad, but I don't think food poisoning works like this. I'm not an idiot, I know the signs this is showing, but I want to live in ignorance for at least another day. Because one of my best friends is on her way over right now, and I only have enough energy in me to deal with her today.

«Tay I'm here!» Karlie says as she comes into the apartment, so I quickly flush the toilet and rinse out my mouth, so she doesn't know I have been puking my guts out. We aren't exactly on good terms these days so the last thing I want is to tell her I have been throwing up.

I head out to meet her and she gives me a big hug. «Hi miss hermit. It's time to get out of here. We should go shopping or go to dinner» she says, and I sigh. «Sorry Karlie but I'm not going anywhere. It's bad timing» I tell her honestly.

The world has turned against me the last few months, and I refuse to leave my rental apartment on Cornelia Street if I don't absolutely have to. My little trip to a dive bar a few weeks ago was a one-time thing because I was desperate for some hard liquor, and I didn't have any. I could have sent my assistant out to get me some, but I didn't bother.

«Come on, you can't keep doing this» she argues, and I move further into the apartment and take a seat on my couch. «I can and I will. Karlie, it's not good for me to show my face right now, you know that. Tree wants me to stay out of the spotlight, And I agree with her»

Things escalated for my image after the met gala when it was announced that I was no longer with Adam. Needs to say it turned into yet another media cycle where I'm portrayed as this crazy serial dater and is downright mentally abusive. None of that is true, and they would have known that if they knew why we even broke up in the first place, but there is nothing more the media loves than a good slut shaming spiral. It doesn't matter what Adam did that ended it for good, they would rather take down a woman because that's the sick society we live in.

Tree sat me down right after that and we agreed that I needed to lay low for a while. At this point any press is a bad idea, even just being caught walking the streets would turn into a negative press spiral. Right now I'm like a walking target for a public takedown, and I don't need to assist them in that. Tree has been my publicist for years; we work well together, and I trust her opinion on this.

«Tree is being dramatic Tay. It's not that big of a deal. Being seen with me always create good headlines, anyone with eyes know that much. You're sulking like a baby and its annoying» she says and cross her arms over her chest.

This isn't the first time we have had this discussion, and it's getting on my nerves. She doesn't really want to hang out much in private anymore, it's all about being seen by the media. It wasn't like that when we first became friends a few years ago, but now it's all about being seen with the «it crowd» for her. It hurts because I consider her one of my best friends, like a sister, but she doesn't feel like that anymore. now it feels like she is using me to get ahead in her own career, and that fucking stings.

«She isn't being dramatic; she is doing her job. And I'm not going anywhere. Any headline is a bad headline right now. Not to mention that I need to lay low for my own good, this all is messing with my head and if you took even one second to listen to what I've been telling you for weeks you would have known that» I'm getting tired of this crap. It's not just that it will create drama in the headlines, but it's also taking a toll on my mental health.

It doesn't matter how thick skin you have, being in my situation would take a toll on anyone. My mental health has never been worse just like my public image has never been worse. It's hard when you have built your whole life out of being a good girl, being liked, and now that has gone up in smoke. I've always gotten hate for one thing or another, but now it's at an all-time high. now it's a constant united front being showed in my face, and I can't handle it. I'm at a breaking point and my supposed best friend should know that.