This Feeling

Chapter 35

I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. I'm at school so it's hard to get time to write. Sorry that this chapter sucks :|

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“Hey beautiful,” A shirtless Ryan greeted me with a smile as I closed the front door of his house on a cold Saturday evening.

“Hey,” I said softly, forcing a smile.

“What’s wrong?” He asked with concern as we walked into the kitchen.

“I just came to get my clothes,” I said.

“Why? Are you going to replace them with others?” He asked.

“No, actually, I came here to get my clothes because I think that,” I started then took a deep breath, “I think we should break up.”

With wide eyes and a confused expression he asked, “What?”

“I think that we should break up,” I said softly.

“Why?” He asked looking straight into my eyes, his forehead showing lines due to his confused expression.

“I have been thinking lately about how this could end very badly for both of us. I don’t want you to lose your job and I don’t want to be the reason for you not succeeding in life,” I said almost in a whisper because I was afraid my voice might break.

He kept quiet for a few seconds before replying, “We have talked about this and that won’t happen. Screw my job; I don’t want it if I'm not gonna be with you. I can even start my own school with the money I have,” He said seriously.

“Ryan, we can’t live our lives like this, always in secret and everything. I’m sorry. I think its better this way,” I said as I put my phone in my pocket and started walking towards the stairs leading to the bedroom. I wasn’t far up when a hand held my wrists and pulled me back.

“Tell me what’s really going because I'm not gonna let you go so easily,”

I looked away and wiped a disloyal tear that had escaped from my eye.

“Someone knows about us, our secret isn’t safe,” I sobbed as I sat down on one of the steps.

“Who knows?” He asked alarmed.

“Monalita, she knows about us. She had pictures on her that she made me delete but I know she has copies somewhere and I don’t want you to get into trouble. This is getting too dangerous, we just can’t carry on, we juss-t can’t. I'm sorry” I said in a defeated sob.

“Listen to me,” He said holding my hands. “No-one and I mean no-one will ruin this. I won’t allow it. I love you too much to let you go, you know that right? We have made it work for the last 6 months; we can survive a few more. I can’t lose you,” He said softly.

“Ryan, she has evidence. Don’t you get it? We were supposed to play it safe and now we are in a mess. We are in a mess that I'm afraid we don’t have control over. I don’t want to leave you but I can’t let your future get ruined because of me. I’m not worth it,” I said.

“Skye Miller, the only way my future will be ruined is if you aren’t in it. I know that having a secret relationship was never part of your plan. But understand that I am doing my best and understand that people don’t see our relationship for what it really is. They see it as a teacher and student affair but I see it as two individuals who love each other. My being your teacher has nothing to do with our relationship. We really can’t plan or change who we fall in love with. And I have fallen in love with you and I'm not gonna lose you,” He finished off and by that time the tears were flowing freely. I hated looking weak and vulnerable.