I've Got You

Chapter 4

Tuesday, 8th Feb

Y/n's POV:

I was sitting in the councillor's office before school for the first time as a promise to my mum. Apparently she told her about my episodes.

"So, Y/n, have you been having any of these episodes lately?" Miss Marks is a middle aged lady with a kind face. I just give her a little shrug. "Would you be able to tell me about them?" A gentle smile is plastered across her face.

"Um.. well... I guess I had one at a party I went to on Saturday." I'm sitting right on the edge of the couch, fiddling with my nails and starring at the pile of fidget toys she has on her coffee table.

I wanna grab one so bad.

But I don't.

"Okay what happened, sweetheart?" She clicks her pen and scribbles something I can't make out in her pink notebook.
"Umm... well it happened when my dad called me." Flashbacks from that night fill my mind.

I push them away.

I don't want to think about it. "I dunno, it wasn't that bad."

"Okay, sweetie that's good. So how did you feel in that moment?" More notebook scribble.

I look up at the clock.

Still fifteen minutes ughhh. I hate this.

"I dunno... kinda like I wasn't real. I... maybe sad?" I focus on the pen on paper.

I wish I could see what she's writing.

"Yeah, it could've been. Or do you think that maybe it was anxiousness, sweetheart?" She looks up at me from her notebook.

I want to get out of here.

I feel a lump form in my throat.

But she's right.

I was scared.

I shrug and croak out, "Yeah I guess."

I feel my eyes glaze over.

She tells me how it could be an anxiety response. She leaves me to find triggers this week and teaches me a few strategies to try and pull me out of them.

Finally basketball tryouts have come. After school, we all arrive in the hall with our runners and bright blue summer dresses on, looking a little peculiar. Annette and I walked in together. She has done basketball with me for the past few years of school. It's actually how we became friends. I look around the hall at the dozens of year sevens trying out and a bunch of familiar faces from previous years.

I feel a tap on my shoulder and I turn, finding myself grinning widely at the sight in front of me. Wanda has come to try out after all. Her auburn hair is slicked back into a high ponytail and she has a basketball resting on her right hip under her arm.
"You came." It comes out all breathy.

God I'm so embarrassing.

She smiles back at me, "I came."
"Okay, okay, save it for the bedroom." Annette jokes.
"Oh my god, Ettie! What's the matter with you!" I hit the back of her head playfully, trying to hide the fact that my checks have turned to bright red tomatoes.
"Oh my god, Y/n! Introduce me!" She says, in the same manner I did.

"Right, sorry. Ettie, Wanda. Wanda, Annette." They shake hands. And exchange pleasantries.

"Alright Chickadees!" Ms Donaldson's voice echoes around the hall. She splits us into two random groups since there are so many of us and runs a series of drills.

My group goes first and we do layups, a dribbling drill, a defensive drill and then a few free-throws.

Every time I do something well I hear embarrassing cheers from both Ettie and Wanda who are sitting on the bench along the sideline.