tw: suicide
i was having such a fucking good day and now isa's back??
this was two years ago. i blamed myself for two fucking years. i was twelve.
i'm not religious, but every time isa said they were planning something, i would pray. i prayed that they would survive.
when i thought they were dead, i blamed myself. i thought it was my fault for not praying hard enough. i thought that maybe if i went to church more as a kid, maybe if i was smarter, maybe if i spent more time talking to them instead of sleeping, i could've done something.
i'm not bringing isa into 2023 with me. i can't do this all over again.
so, isa, if you're reading this: fuck you. don't contact me, or my friends.
