Ethereal {WLW}

Chapter Ten: A Loveless Marriage

Cami's POV:

Ethan being home has always proven to be difficult, but it wasn't always like this.

The first day Ethan was home, he spent the night at the bar with friends. He never came home that night and I had to hide a very plastered Ethan from the kids the next morning. The next night he spent in his office, claiming he had too much work to do and 'just because he's home, doesn't mean the work is done'.

I felt bad for the boys, or at least Beck. Graham is old enough that he has an opinion on his father, which isn't a very good one. They used to be attached at the hip, but Graham quickly realized his dad wasn't a hero, but a person - a person with faults and capable of hurting him.

Soccer used to be their thing that they bonded over, but it has quickly became their greatest rift. I'd let Graham quit in a heartbeat, but Ethan would lose it if he found out his son didn't stick with the sport. Beck though, Beck is still young enough that he views his dad through rose colored lenses.

Ethan's hardly home, so Beck is always so excited to see his daddy. He doesn't understand what's going on or that if his dad actually cared enough, he'd be here. I feel bad because this is all partly my fault.

I met Ethan in college. He was charismatic and everyone loved him. I didn't realize until I married him that the public version of him is very different from the version of him that you get at home. We only married because I got pregnant with Graham very early on in our relationship and his family was very traditional. I didn't get to know him very well, so here I am in a loveless marriage with a selfish man.

Ethan has always prioritized his work, it's one of the things I initially found attractive about him. His drive and work ethic was admirable, but now I wonder if he just finds work easier than raising a family.

Our marriage has has many tifs. He didn't know about Savannah until I was knocked up with Graham, he didn't met my mom until the wedding, and he's had many affairs. It's safe to say that we've both had our doubts about this marriage, but we've always worked through it. Tonight was one of those nights that didn't seem like we could.

Ethan has been on edge a lot lately when he's been home and today was just like any other, but he took it too far when he broke his phone.

"Seriously? You're an adult Ethan. You need to control your temper. You can't just be ruining phones because you feel like it." I say.

We were in the bedroom as he presented me with his cracked phone and gave me no explanation as to what made him break it.

"Oh, fuck off. You know, you have no clue what it's like to be as busy as me. I help run a fucking company, do you have any idea how much work that is?!" He yells back.

"You act like I don't have a job too! I have a career, plus I raise our kids. When is the last time you've done anything with them?" I yell back.

"You forget that one of those kids isn't mine." he says coldly.

This causes my heart to break.

"Fuck you, Ethan! I wish I never married you. I try so hard to be this perfect wife for you and yet somehow, no matter what I do, I fuck it up, but I will not let you talk down on her. She was in the picture before you were and you need to accept that. She's my daughter, regardless of how you feel." I say.

"I'm so sick of doing this shit with you." he says as he buries his head into his hands.

"All we do is fight. You used to be fun... we used to be fun, but this marriage isn't what it used to be. If I didn't care about our public appearance and how the family makes us look, I wouldn't be with you." He says.