𝕳𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖑𝖊𝖘𝖘 - 𝖂𝖊𝖉𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖉𝖆𝖞 𝕬𝖉𝖉𝖆𝖒𝖘

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕿𝖜𝖔

"Hope is the thing with feathers. That perches  in the soul, and sings the tune without the words, and never stops at all." - Emily Dickinson

My drawing was finally finished, I jump down from the tree, I climbed. Zella had left to go take a nap. I don't mind being alone, I enjoy it, the silence. I love to sit in silence in the woods, drawing or reading a book, listening to the birds chirping and the bees buzzing.

I get my sketchbook and head to the dance studio, longing to perfect my previous mistakes, on Swan Lake. I obsess over wanting to be perfect, it's unhealthy, but determined. I open the tall door with gold features displayed on it. I open the door, going to the dressing room, where I always keep an extra dance bag, incase I want to dance.

I change into my ballet attire, wich consist of pink tights, black ripstop pants and a black leotard with long sleeves and an open back. I walk out the dressing room, and sit on the ground in the middle of the room, putting on my pointe shoes.

I admire the glamorous atmosphere , every wall covered in gold and mirrors everywhere. A piano displayed in the corner of the room, that automatically plays an angelic tune, when someone walks in.

I start stretching and doing some barre work. My body swaying to the beautiful song, the obsession to be perfect present.

Once you fall in love with ballet, you create a toxic relationship with it. It has a way of permeating your thoughts and actions, like an invasive species. You only think of that certain topic, it's like falling in love with someone, just more obsessive.

The door creaks open, and a certain girl raven haired girl walks in. I didn't think I would see her until class tomorrow.

"Lilith Volkov, is it?" she questions, even though she unquestionably knows who I am. I knew she was staring at me and Zella talking earlier.

"Yea, what brings you here?" I ask her.

"I was on a walk around the school and the door was unlocked so-," she explains. There are some pauses between her words. I can tell she made it up on the spot, however I won't mention that.

"You walked in," I cut her off. Not in an impolite way, it just looked like she didn't know what to say.

"Is this a club of some sorts?"

"Not really, i'm the only member, people tend to stay away from me."

"Why? You don't seem like a sinister person?" she asks, I keep quiet. I don't even know the reason, besides the rumors. "Enid told me you two are friends. She also said you are smart and kind."

"Well, most people at this school think otherwise. There are a lot of rumors, that were circling around school when I joined. All negative," I respond, there are too many rumors to count on two hands.

"Entertaining story, anyway i'm going to go back to my dorm. It's almost my writing time," she states.

"It was nice meeting you Wednesday." I utter. She turns around and walks out of the room. Her writing time?

★ ★ ★

After maybe two hours I returned to my dorm, to find Zella smoking on the balcony. I quickly change into my green tartan pajama pants and a black Nirvana shirt. I walk onto the balcony sitting in the chair next to Zella's. My feet are hurting from standing on my pointe shoes so long, it's beautiful but painful.

"So, are we still going to watch pride & prejudice?" I ask her. I haven't watched it in a long time and it's a great movie. The book is better, but I still love the movie.

"Of course," she says. I don't think she is planning to get out of her chair until she finishes smoking her cigarette. "What do think of new girl. Enid's freaked out by her, I can already tell."

"She seems nice ," I whisper under my breath,

"I wouldn't say nice," she slurs out. I can tell she has been smoking some weed. She prefers marihuana, to cigarettes. She claims it has more effect on her.

"She came by the studio earlier. She was quite nice," I announce, shocking Zella.

"Wait, she came by the studio?" she asks in a loud tone of voice.

"Yea, she said she was walking around the school," I explain to her. "Well come on let's watch pride & prejudice."

Zella immediately fell asleep, after finishing the movie. I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling. I can't seem to get my mind off Wednesday.

I've never experienced not being able to get someone out of my mind, some people would call it love, others admiration. I want to experience love, sometime in my life.

I want to be special for someone. Someone that will comfort when I feel hopeless, someone to help me find the missing colors in my life, for my life is black and white. Someone that will crawl in my thoughts, when I go to sleep at night, and forever keep me close.

Finding that type of love isn't easy, many people search their entire lives for their true love, some don't. I don't even know what love is.

My hand tracing along the paper, drawing two hands, that looked like they are longing for each other.

I'm kinda' bored I'm going to go visit Enid and go to bed after.