Gonkillu Oneshots!

When The First Love Ends

Og posted 12/12/2022 on ao3!

KI DESERVES THE WORLD 🥺🥺🥺🥺ANYONE WHO SAYS HE DIDNT GO THROUGH ALOT IS LYING THE POOR KID DESERVES MORE😭😭😭😭🥺🤧🙏

WHAT CANON?!

DO NOT SEPARATE GONKILLU

PSHH CANON I WHOOO CANT HEAR NEED KI TO BE HAPPY AND CARRIED IN GONS ARMS 😭🥺🙏

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(„• ֊ •„) ♡
━O━O━━━━━

It hurts so much, the pressure building and clenching against his lungs, making it hard to breathe. It's okay. He can feel Alluka's warmth nearby. It's okay.

It's okay.

He loves Alluka. He loves Nanika. When that memory had been torn out of him, it left an odd feeling of cold, rotting in his bones. A cold he could bear, even if it made him shake on some nights. It was filled when he got to see her again. Them again.

He made this choice. He made it.

Warmth surges through his back, and he jumps, wiping away tears.

"Big Brother. I don't mind, you know. We don't mind. As long as we get to spend time with you, we can do it with sixty other people!"

Alluka spreads out her arms as wide as she can to make a point, grinning.

B-but...

What does it matter...?

That's not what Gon wants...

That's never been... Killua's never been part of Gon's goal; he's just a thorn in his side.

He can feel the pressure of two hands, this time pushing him forward, and he stumbles.

It feels like a dream, walking forward in a daze; while both the hands had been Alluka's, something made it feel like both of theirs, Nanika and Alluka's pushing him on.

A blur of monochrome colors, until he sees that green, and he reaches out and grabs just the edge of Gon's sleeve.

Time starts to move again before he can take it back. He can't stop the overflow of the tears, or the trembling of his fingers, grasping on by a thread, a hiccup leaving his lips, followed by a set of words.

"D-Don't go..."

He starts to sob, crashing to the floor, his knees scraping against the ground and tearing skin, as he lets go of Gon's sleeve.

This is just a tantrum.

Gon looks shell-shocked. Of course, he does... Killua can feel Alluka's palm on his back; she stands there unwavering as he curls up, burying his face into his sleeves, wailing.

"K-Killua..."

He doesn't want to hear that rejection burn his ears. Even though he braces for it, taking comfort in Alluka's warmth upon his back.

"Killua."

Gon leans down, and Killua slowly lowers his arms, afraid.

Gon doesn't look mad; he has a sad smile as he gently holds a hand out.

"Killua. When's the last time you got some decent sleep?"

When...?

Has he ever... even...? It's been forever...

He shakes his head, sniffling, and Gon smiles softly, getting on one knee and gesturing his hand out more for Killua.

"Ooohh... Gon, you're kinda acting like a prince on a white horse right now...!"