BETROTHED TO THE BILLIONAIRE

CHAPTER 64

Ryan's POV 
 
Her back hits the door as she wraps her warm soft hands around the back of my neck, pushing me to the edge.
 
Her lips collide with mine instantly, making my head go blank. The kiss is awkward as I fumble with her dress, desperate to touch her and feel her naked skin on my body.
 
A low moan escapes her lips as we kiss roughly, making me groan and bite her lips softly.
 
That sound does a lot of unexplainable things to me.
 
She moves away from the door and I open my eyes to see that we are approaching her bed. We could barely take our hands off each other as John drove us home. I am 100 percent sure this is because she is drunk but I keep denying it because I feel she feels sure about this. As much as I want.
 
She falls on her back on the bed and I fall on top of her, slamming my lips to hers again in desperation. The absence of her lips on mine is driving me crazy.
 
My whole body aches with the need for her. I feel hot and cold at the same time, wishing this will never end and I will get to spend every night in her arms.
 
Her hands dig into my hair. As she plays with my hair, another moan leaves her mouth, prompting me to do the same.
 
Finally, I find my way to her naked thighs. Before I can move my hand upward, a sound jerks us back to life.
 
Like someone waking up from the dead, her eyes fly open and it goes wide in shock before she pushes me off her.
 
I don't have enough time to think about what she just did because the sound is coming from my pocket.
 
My phone is ringing.
 
Forcing myself to tear my gaze away from her and not let the disappointment I feel sink fully in, I take out my phone.
 
It is Mother.
 
Why is she calling?
 
The call goes to voicemail before I can pick up, making me shift my attention back to the half-naked woman before me. Her spaghetti dress is almost off, exposing most of her cleavage.
 
I gulp and look away.
 
"Ryan", she calls with a shocked tone. "What…"
 
I know what she wants to ask but I wish not to hear it come out of her mouth.
 
"Shit!" she curses in between gritted teeth and gets down from the bed.
 
"I'm sorry. You were the one who kissed me, I thought this was what you wanted and…"
 
"I kissed you?" she cuts me short with panic crossing her expression. Her hair is disheveled as she stares at me. The sight leaves a sinking feeling inside of me.
 
"Yes, you did. I should have stopped you from doing that. I'm sorry", I apologize again and get up to leave the room. I should probably drink more and go to bed.
 
"Are you serious?" She comes in front of me, stopping me from going out with my dejected face.
 
I furrow my brows, wondering why on earth she doesn't remember what happened a few minutes ago in the car and now. She started it.
 
"I initiated it?" she demands again as if to be sure I know what I am saying and she is hearing right.
 
Without a word, I nod.
 
"Gosh", she facepalms and turns her back to me. Facing me back immediately, she apologizes. "I'm sorry."
 
"It's fine."
 
I step away from her and begin to walk to the door. I won't even be able to sleep in the room tonight if she plans to spend the night here. Seeing her will remind me of what happened tonight and how it ended before anything could even start.
 
I feel terrible.
 
"Ryan", she calls back. "Are you mad at me?"
 
I turn to face her. She takes a step forward but stumbles and I quickly grab her. "Do you need water?"
 
The drunkenness hasn't faded off completely. When she is standing upright, she shakes her head. "I'm fine."
 
"I was stupid, I'm sorry."
 
"No, it's fine", I insist. She shouldn't blame herself. I was already beginning to think that she is actually attracted to me too but this had proved me wrong.
 
This is one-sided and I doubt if there is anything I can do to change how she feels. It makes me feel awful and less of a man.
 
She is my wife for crying out loud. Why can't I make her fall in love with me? Why do I have to keep falling over and over again when it is so obvious that she doesn't feel the same way?
 
It breaks my heart.
 
She smiles shyly and rubs her hands over the edges of her dress. I view this as a dismissal.
 
Before I can summon up the courage to either say something about what happened between us just now or take the door out, my phone rings again, jerking me out of my trance.
 
It pulls me out of the trance of watching her beautiful face and the imagination of what would have happened if only that call didn't come in.
 
I was damn ready to cross the line, without giving a damn about what would happen tomorrow morning when we are both sober and good. 
 
"Your phone", she mentions, pointing to the phone and making me wonder if she is really still clueless about how I feel or if this is just part of her presence.
 
She is good at it.
 
Should I still go ahead with my plans? We haven't gone on a date yet. And also the picnic.
 
Will she agree to still go ahead with this? Do I need to force her like I did today?
 
"Ryan…", she calls again.
 
"Do you remember what happened at the club?" I find myself asking her. I don't want to believe that that kiss happened because she was just drunk.
 
She can't kiss me for no reason. That kiss was too intense and passionate to be waved away that way like it meant nothing.
 
It means a lot. To me.
 
She arches her brow, trying to remember what happened. "Yeah, I do."
 
I take a step towards her as the ringing sound of the phone stops. "You remember everything?"
 
She nods  "I think I do."
 
"You also remember how you initiated the kiss?" I ask her and a red blush creeps to her face in embarrassment.
 
"Ryan, can we not talk about this?"
 
"What about how you grind your hips on my body? Do you remember that?" I take another step and she begins to back away.
 
"Ryan…"
 
"Do you know how upset I was to see you dancing with another man when I was there?"
 
"Ryan…"
 
I don't even know what I am doing anymore or what I stand to gain from these questions. I just want to ask her.
 
"Did you feel any reaction from me when you were earnestly grinding your hips on my body?"
 
"Ryan!" she yells. "I told you it was a mistake. I was drunk and I am sorry if I did anything to make you uncomfortable."
 
She is breathing heavily. "Can you leave now?"
 
"This is my room…"
 
"It is also my room. You can take the other room tonight", she states, anger evident on her face.
 
I shut my eyes, turn away from her and my phone begins to ring again. Without sparing her a glance, I take the door out.

****

Valerie is at it again? Why is she acting this way? Is she refusing to admit what she feels or she doesn't feel attracted to him the way he is attracted to her?

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