Star and Marco vs Evil Book 3

XVI

Day three...

Marco emerged from the tent, stretched, yawned, scratched himself, then ambled toward the fire ring. Star was sitting on a log, her hair frazzled and her clothes frumpy, with bags and dark circles beneath eyes bloodshot bright red.

Marco laid his hand on Star's shoulder, then kissed her on the cheek, saying, "Mornin', hun."

Star grabbed Marco's arm, threw him over her shoulder, just missing the fire, then yelled, "You're not making meatballs out of me!"

"What?" Marco squeaked.

Star said, "Oh, sorry, Marco." Her face betrayed no remorse at all, only annoyance.

Marco climbed to his feet with no help from Star whatsoever, who remained sitting on the log, looking into the distance, grinding her teeth.

"Okay, well ... before we do any more planning and sparring, we need to gather some firewood and check our traps."

"Uggghhh!" Star responded, her voice full of exasperation. "Why can't you be more like Oskar?"

"What ... a burned-out loser?"

"Shows what you know," Star said haughtily, as she shouldered the axe she had conjured. "I looked him up after we moved back to Earth."

"You mean stalked," Marco muttered.

"Shaddup. Oskar's partnered with Roy to make a chain of restaurants selling Goblin Dogs, Cincinnati-style chili, Goblin Dog Chili Coneys, and Meatball Subs. His 'secret' method of putting corn chips on top of the coneys and subs have made them this year's cause célèbre in the low-brow comfort-food wars. He's become quite rich, you know."

"So have I. The new Transvestite Princess Turdina doll ... just me in my regular jeans and hoodie ... is the biggest must-have item in all the multiverse. I was going to surprise you, but since you put your attitude on just now..."

Star simply sniffed and stuck her nose in the air.

Later, as they worked on turning a magnificent example of the beauty of nature into fuel for their selfish desire to survive, Star began criticizing Marco.

"You swing like a girl," Star said, scornfully.

"You're a girl," Marco pointed out.

"You're right; you swing like not a girl."

Marco rolled his eyes and continued working.

"Why do you grunt when you strike? A fart is manlier."

"You're making those logs way too big! Jeebus, Marco."

"You were a pedo when you came back from The Abs Dimension."

"You're making those logs way too small! Jeebus, Marco."

"Why is your hoodie so red? Tone it down!"

Marco, employing the techniques taught to him by his fathers and grandfathers, simply kept working, letting Star's criticism wash over him and away. It was only when she stopped that he thought something might be wrong.

Looking over, Star was frozen mid-swing. She swayed back and forth, her eyes half closed and twitching. Worried, Marco called, "Star?" No response. "Stardust? Starship? Starburst? Star ... uh ... Starboard?"

Suddenly, Star unfroze, striking the tree, her axe biting deeply into the hated wood. She looked up at Marco, asking, outraged, "Why aren't you working? Lazy!"

Marco sighed, returning to his work.

The pair worked in silence for a good nine minutes, Star refraining from her needling. Just as Marco began to think the episode had passed, Star snarled, "Why are you making that noise with your nose?"