Gray Ghost - License to Kill

Chapter 1 - Doing Time

You could hear the buzz, and then the locking mechanism releasing the latch on the door. Then the sound of the heavy iron entrance door opening as you stepped into the shadow of the door frame leaving one world and into another. From that spot you could see the heavy iron entrance door led to a series of other heavily secured iron doors built to hold the most dangerous of men inside of them.

The thing about these doors is that they were not just built to keep a man physically inside of the small space that isolated each person. They were built to entrap your mind. It was no coincidence that the doors are gray. The color gray represents strength and longevity. Reminding you every day that these doors are stronger than you are. Reminding you every day that you are going to be inside these doors for a long time, and the gray doors are built to be here longer than you are.

The color gray represents stone. The strongest, toughest rock on earth is a gray rock called a diabase rock. This gray rock is commonly used here for unpaved roads. This gray rock is used for roads that are so insignificant that we don't even care to pave them as they lead to dead ends. These gray doors lead to insignificant places and dead ends inside of prison.

The color gray is detached. That reminds you that these doors are detaching you from everything outside of that door not just physically but mentally. Detached from your family. Detached from your dreams. Detached from the daily things you took for granted, like simply walking down the street breathing fresh air that smelled up grass and trees. That gray door reminded you that your walks now will consist of the smell of recycled air pushing the scent of half bathed men from one space to another.

The color gray is unemotional, it lacks empathy, vision or hope. It reminds you that on the other side of these gray doors, nobody cares about you. Nobody cares about your goals or dreams. Nobody cares about your fears or desires. These gray doors remind you that you are a nobody here. Before you walk through these doors, they even strip you of your name to ensure you are reminded that you have no hope. I no longer had a name; I was prisoner number 1032625555.

When I first walked through that door, I was greeted like the thousands before me and the thousands after. You are watched like a hawk analyzing its prey looking for vulnerability that can be exploited. They are watching every step you take. They are watching your head, is your head down, defeated and vulnerable or is your head up and attentive and strong.

They are looking into your eyes. Do your eyes represent fear and submissiveness. You learn that you always look forward and never stare at anybody. You never look away too fast when you make eye contact, because that is a sign of weakness. But you never look at them too long, as that is a sign of aggression. The eyes are the key to the soul and as they look into your eyes they can see if you are the hunter or the prey.

As I walked in, I could hear some people rattling their steel gray bars. I could hear undisguisable chatter meant to intimidate or generate a reaction. I blocked it all out, seeming unphased by the chatter and attempts to intimidate. Though this was my first time in prison, it was not my first crime, just the first time I got caught.

The guard led me to my cell where there was an inmate already there laying down and reading a book. He barely looked up from his book as they opened the cell to usher me in. I walked in and first thing that caught my eye was the dirty gray toilet and sink combination on the wall facing the door. The toilet looked as if it had endured a hundred years of fecal matter with an attached sink looking as if it was along for the journey.

There was a small rectangular piece of a cloudy window that hung on the wall above the toilet. The window was just big enough to remind you of all the things outside that you are missing, but too small to actually see and enjoy any of those things.