La Rosa

Chapter 29: Deja Vu.

He's not here. He left again after I fell asleep.

I remember he was with me when I fell asleep, he was here. I knew I pissed him off but I didn't know that I went so far as to make him leave.

At first I thought he was just busy working. That was the first day. It's day 5 now. I don't think it's work.

What the hell have I done?

If I wasn't so damn emotional. Emotions ruin everything. I inhale and I feel my heart tightening as if I'm slowly getting squished until everything shuts down and I die.

I get up from the bed I've been laying in for 3 days of no movement. Which is easier than expected. I don't try to pop anything or even stretch which is not a good idea because as soon as I start walking I stop. I fall into the wall.

The things I do for this man. I don't know if should I love him. He's rude, selfish, an asshole, a whore and cares for no other lives except for mine. Should I like that? That he only cares for me. Does he?

I guess you could put that on the pros list about him, he loves me and acts as if I'm the only girl in the world, when I'm with him I feel as if I can't breathe but he fills my lungs at the same time, he doesn't want me for my body. The way he touches me, my skin feels like it's on fire but the best kind of feeling in the world.  I don't love him, do I? Maybe just a little. Or a lot. Why did the world have to give me so many emotions at the same time, they keep just stacking on top of each other and mixing and creating just a big blob that I have to try and separate. Or they act like a certain emotion and end up actually being a whole different one.

I lean onto the wall this time and start walking. I need to find him. I need to apologize till he can't physically hear anymore.

I need to kiss him, touch him, anything, hear the slight sound of his voice. I need him.

"Hey- Woah what the hell is wrong with you?" I hear Alessandro come from behind me. "Have you been eating your as skinny as a piece of paper, If I blew hard enough you might just blow away?"

Skinny? I guess I haven't been eating. Maybe Demino shouldn't come. If he saw me like this he would just leave again. "Hello, earth to nonexistent person," Alessandro says bringing me back to earth.

"Yeah, I just need to eat I guess but do you know where Dominic is? He hasn't been here for 5 days." I try to change the topic, he brings me to the kitchen though anyways. He starts getting a bunch of ingredients and throws me a yogurt to eat while I'm waiting.

"Um yes, but I can't tell you that." I look up from my yogurt and try my meanest glare. None of it worked. "You want to do something to do though-" He attempts to change the subject but I won't let him. I need to know. He's my husband for god sake, can I file this as a runaway or does that only work for kids under 18?

"Please tell me I need to know," I say while stuffing my face with yogurt. Maybe if I eat he'll then tell me. I hear someone come through, I knew I shouldn't but just the feeling it could of have been him was enough to go run out there.

To my luck it was. Just a blackout/high off something version of him. He leans on to me which is very unexpected and I almost fall over.

He smiles and examines my face, "Hi Baby," His words were kind of babbled like a toddler but it was cute I guess. Alessandro walks in and shakes his head tries to take care of him instead. So I do the most reasonable thing anyone would do.

I slap him, "Go away I got this." I say and at the end of it I put a thumbs up. I expect him to just walk away but he laughs and mutters.

"You guys are the exact same." I glare at him but not to long before I look at the literal man in my dreams.

"Come on let's go to bed." I mumble and half ass carry him to our room. Or my room since all my clothes are everywhere and he looks basically moved out.

"Bed is good, we can make love and babies in there." He says and immediately falls on the bed when we get close to it.

"Not to tonight baby." I kiss his head and I feel bad for taking advantage of his affection right now even though most of it's fake.

"Baby" He says and keeps repeating the word and kissing my cheek until I get off him. Which I don't know why I though would work. "I want you babies, mine would just be evil and devil children. But your would be so perfect I'd be jealous." He mumbles against my face.

"You have to let go of me I got to go get a trashcan just incase your drunk ass pukes." I say and he holds on only tighter.

"Don't ever leave me." He mumbles again, I can tell he wants to go to sleep but I need to make sure he doesn't choke and ruin his own expensive furniture.

"Only for a moment, I can count for you if you'd like." I say and he nods loosening his grip. When I start to walk away without counting he grabs ahold of me again. "1." I say and he lets go I walk away.

"2." Why is he so drunk? I make it to the bathroom and grab the trashcan that I normally put my tampons in but it's empty right now luckily. "3." It can't be just me right? I didn't do that to him.

"4." I see him again and he looks like a child waiting for there parent to come back. He's so sweet when drunk. He sits up and holds my waist again.

"5." He says at the same time as me. He laughs, He also tries to lay back down but I stop him. He gives me a pouting face. I start taking his shirt off and he smiles again. But little did I know this man though we were both getting naked. "What are you doing? I'm getting you undressed so you don't puke on your nice clothes I helped you pick out." His smile drops again.

I continue undressing him until hes just down to his underwear. "Now you." He smirks pulling my pants off me. I roll my eyes and walk away, I can feel his eyes on my every inch. It's insane how intense it feels to me but he's acting so kind right now you'd think this man is just a horny freshman. I change into one of his shirts and only that.

Anything else is to uncomfortable. I turn around and he's there. "Did you just watch me change?" I say and he nods, his stare is so deep its hard to keep bickering with him like this. "That's highly inappropriate you know."

"I like watching art. You are my art. Just the kind I can stare at for hours and looks better every day." I feel my heart beat faster and I feel I might die from one man's words.

"Sleep, come on." I grab his hand and I drag him to bed. This man has a sleeping problem. He lays on my stomach and chest. His hair is nice. Would it be weird to smell it? Yes. Instead I rub his scalp and run my finger through it. I get a happy groan from him. I stay up all the way until he fell asleep.

Whenever he would move even the slightest I would make sure he's not choking on his own puke or something dumb. I felt like I stayed up all night.

But I didn't care because I knew if I didn't enjoy it Ill be sad that it's all gone tomorrow.

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Until Next time....