You had become well accustomed to this new way of life. While you occasionally still reminisced about your time at the ADA, you never felt any regret for your decision. However, it did come with a fair amount of guilt, even if this was what you wanted all along, your friends didn't deserve to be thrown away and treated like this. You wish you could've bid them farewell any other way, while at the same time knowing that it'd only endanger your partner. Partner in crime, and in life.
You're on your weekly stroll to the store, getting some necessities before going into hiding again. You're sure someone must've taken over the Dostoyevsky case where you left off. One day they'd come for you, but for now you'd do everything in your power to keep that from happening. Peacefully picking out some food of the shelves, you can't help but listen in the the conversation on the opposite end.
"Do you recon taking these would kill me?" Wonders the first voice. "I really wish you wouldn't say things like these so casually..." mutters the other, in a familiar concerned tone. You sneakily pick one of the larger items off the shelves hoping to see through them to the other side. Two wide eyes stare right back into your soul. " Ah shit, why did i do that!" You curse to yourself as you rapidly asses the situation. With nowhere to run your options are heavily limited.
"(Y/n) is that you?" Atsushi asks directly at you. Your first thought is to say "no" like some kind of idiot, like that would fix things. "I- I swear i can..." you begin, but It's too late. it doesn't matter anymore, by the time you have your braincells aligned, he's run over to you and captured you into a bonecrushing hug. "Gosh i missed you so much! I thought i'd never see you again!" Your heart absolutely breaks at those words, you knew it'd be hard on him, but never could you imagine how utterly distraught he was. "You're back! You'll come back with us right?" If your hart broke before, then there's a dozen cars running over its pieces now.
All this time you've been staring straight ahead, not daring to look at Atsushi. Staring your way into the store so you wouldn't loose compose, and right when you try to explain yourself, Dazai moves into your line of sight with a knowing look. He's done this, only the other way around, he knows how it looks.
"Atsushi, i'm so so so sorry i did this to you, but i can't go back, i have a very different life now..." you trail off " i loved seeing you again, but you have to promise not to come look for me. For, I have chosen to go with Fyodor instead." It only comfirmed Dazai's theories, he had figured it out long before you left. "That kind of life takes a toll on you (y/n), are you sure that is what you want?" He soeaks from experience. "Yes, i love him dearly, and if he goes down, so do I." Dazai only nods, understanding that he can't change your mind.
"I have to go, i hope i don't see you again, cuz if we do meet, it won't be on good terms." You try to sound confident, but it's hard. Hard to tell your friends to back off. Hard to tell them to their face, that you'll harm them if seen again. It's a destructive love, but it is love nontheless.
YOU ARE READING
Curiousity killed the cat (Fyodor X f!reader)
Fanfiction(Y/n) gets assigned to Fyodor's case at the ADA. Making it her personal goal to apprehend him, simply because the president asked her to. it doesn't take long before she becomes intrigued by Fyodor, a morbid curiosity that she knows will be the deat...
